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my friend tara bought me a shirt and it is the irony of my life.
Posted on October 23, 2009
My birthday was a couple weeks ago. You know, the BIG 3-0. And my friend Tara gave me the best gift ever. A t-shirt.
I mean seriously right?
Perfect.
But here’s the funny thing.
I hate the way I look in this photo. Or any photo really.
Because I have gained weight. I would guess at LEAST 20lbs since giving birth to Grayson 16 months ago. Maybe 30lbs. And I hate it.
And I blame a lot of it on ALL THE MOUNTAIN DEW I DRINK.
Because I drink a lot.
To stay awake and work late, to give me energy on no sleep, to be a happy mom for my kids. To survive my life I drink gallons of Mnt. Dew. And I know that if I just quit cold turkey I would loose at least 10lbs.
But what the hell? My sleepless nights aren’t quite over yet, my late nights are no where near over yet and so I will continue to drink. Because I’d rather be chubby and awake you know?
So as I was looking at these photos Kim snapped of me last weekend I realized that I am no different than any of our clients that joke about photoshopping a double chin or gray hair or wrinkles. Because look at that neck. As if I couldn’t stand to loose a roll or two. Or three.
And when people, mom’s especially, joke about how magical photoshop can be I always stop and tell them…
“Your kids don’t see your wrinkles. Or your bald head.”
“No matter how you look you will never be happy. This is not about YOU. It is about preserving this moment in time for your children.”
And you know what?
I’m right.
My kids do not see my neck rolls. They use my belly as a pillow while I read them stories at night. They don’t care that I get slightly out of breath when going upstairs. They can still get their arms around me for a hug even though I’m a bit wider than I used to be.
And in 20 years they still won’t see those things. My saggy boobs and flabby belly and cottage cheese thighs. All they will see is how young I look. And how happy I seemed to be in photos with them. Because I am. Happy. Happy to be their mom. Proud to be their mom. And I want them to see me in photos so they will remember me at this time and know these things. How loved they are.
And the scary thought at the end of the day is that these are my young years. I’m just getting older. If we think we have wrinkles now, just wait! And what if this is my THIN time? I could just get bigger! HA! Because I think back to college and remember obsessing about how fat I was and now I look back and think I was SO SKINNY! WTF? Why didn’t I just ENJOY my 20 year old body?
And someday I will think the same about today.
So here’s the thing.
Don’t worry about how you look in photos. Just capture the moment. Don’t analyze every spot and roll and hair in your photos. YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE AND YOU ARE LOVELY. And everyone else in your life loves you just as you are. So love yourself. And eat dessert if you want to!
And I will enjoy my big 32oz Mnt Dew this morning! HA!
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Ulvestad Family – [St. Louis Maternity & Newborn Photographers]
Posted on October 22, 2009
We met up with this sweet family at the end of our whirlwind of sessions weekend for their mini-maternity session! I think cute little Rowan stole the show for certain! She’s going to make such a great big sister!
And as a funny (or not-so-funny) end to our shooting day, Jodie and I hopped in the car exhausted and ready to get home when we heard “click-click-click” when I tried to start the car! Somehow, the battery died! I think we had manic fits of laughter. Just had to at that point! (see previous posts of Jodie only getting 3 hours of sleep the night prior and having sick kids and hubby at home)
Filed Under maternity | 3 Comments
our house is a sick house.
Posted on October 22, 2009
My poor kids.
Oh man.
It has been a long couple of weeks of SICK around here. And I am still catching up from the weekend when we had nine sessions AND Grayson ended up in the ER from 9pm-3am Saturday night with croup and Sunday night Parker’s fever spiked around 2am and didn’t come down.
Spiked meaning that once we got to the doctor’s office Monday morning it was 105.8 and I nearly lost my mind. That above photo was taken when it was 105.2 and she was passed out in my lap at the pediatrician’s. Poor kid. Do you see her pink little cheeks?
And let me just tell you about my three hour experience at the doctor’s office. Where I had Parker literally passed out in my lap from fever and Grayson, who also felt like crap, running around. At one point I was out of quiet ways to keep him busy so I handed him my wallet and let him scatter the contents everywhere. He also threw Cheerios all over the place and I can’t tell you how many times I had to keep my panic attack in check when he would eat them off the floor.
They ended up sending us to the hospital for a chest x-ray and blood work which came back positive for viral pneumonia. Which Gray’s croup has now turned into b/c his fever spiked Tuesday night to 104 also. Both of them sound awful with body racking coughs.
Luckily, Bailey is FINE and so are Chris and I. Knock on wood ALL OF YOU b/c I am DONE with sick. It’s been over two weeks since Parker first got sick.
So I am catching up. Which is hard when you’re shooting once or twice a day, juggling sick kids and attempting to tackle that asshole of a laundry pile. Sorry. I think of my laundry pile as an actual person that has it out for me. And the guy’s an asshole. But last night I kicked his ass a little and this morning I feel great about that! I am returning emails as fast as I can! And phone calls! And if I don’t get to the grocery store today my poor mother might have a heart attack.
TODAY: We have NO sessions! And as much as we LOVE our clients I am glad to give my shutter a break. Or break it out on my own sick kids. We are laying low today. Hanging a bit with my niece who’s in town. Doing some more Halloween art projects… Parker wants to make a spider web and Bailey wants to make another pumpkin. I plan on playing on the floor a lot, switching the laundry around as fast as humanly possible, making a Good Will run and cranking out the emails during nap time. I also am meeting up with Julie, our wrapper/shipper/ribboner extraodinaire to talk about packaging. I am also planning a certain little two year old’s very PINK third birthday party. And I am going to wipe noses and laugh a lot.
It’s a good dreary fall day. Just how I like it. GO!
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shayne + dan – [St. Louis Engagement & Wedding Photographers]
Posted on October 22, 2009
I swear we really don’t do many weddings! This just happens to be one of the other ones we’re doing next spring and it also happens to be C’s cousin Shayne who when Bailey saw her on my computer screamed, “COUSIN SHAAAAAAAAYNE!!!!”
Because we love Shayne.
And Dan’s pretty cool too!
I did some engagement photos for them this summer (when I was just Jodified) but they wanted some fall color so we had round two of their engagement shoot! And it hit on just the BEST color day ever so we were lucky!
Enjoy your sneak peek you guys! Love you!
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Lane Family – [St. Louis Family Photographers]
Posted on October 21, 2009
I’ve known the Lane family since I was 5 years old. Because Heather and I, the oldest daughter, started Kindergarten together at North Glendale Elementary School. We played softball together, her mom was our Brownie leader, we spent the night at each other’s houses and I still remember how cool i felt when I got to ride their big wheels in their back yard. You know, the motorized ones? We never had them and I seriously coveted theirs! Some of my strongest memories are playing my first video game at her house, Atari, and that her mom was always pregnant! HA! Five kids back then was a big deal… and really, with three of my own, five kids is still a really big deal! It just doesn’t seem like a big deal since working with Kim who beats all with SEVEN! HA!
Anyway, the Lane’s have been a part of my life for a really long time and it was a blast to see them all again! And her three younger siblings (her older brother couldn’t come) were still under 10 years old in my mind so to see them as adults was CRAZY! Has that ever happened to you? It made me feel REALLY old!
Thanks so much for meeting us SO early Sunday morning you guys! We loved hanging out with you and hope you enjoy your sneak peek!
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cleveland family – [St. Louis Children & Family Photographers]
Posted on October 20, 2009
There is so much to say about my relationship with Julie Cleve I’m not sure where to start. But let’s just say that in under a year she is now one of my dearest friends. She calls when she THINKS I might be struggling, she makes us dinner when she KNOWS I’m struggling, she is waiting patiently for me to have more than 3 hours of sleep a night so I can go running with her again and well, I just feel like I’ve known her forever. I sort of wormed my way into being adopted by her family (her and her mom and all of her sisters!) and she has taken on the role of big sister seriously, which is the most amazing feeling ever. She is just the most giving person I have ever met. Always thinking of others and to be wrapped into her world, well, I just feel really blessed to have her in my life. And although I can’t make dinner for her family I can help give her some family photos at least!
AND… she just took over our packaging and delivery so if you receive a CUTE Fresh Art bundle soon it’s b/c of her!
We met up with her family during our Sunday shoot extravaganza and had a blast! Her kids are the cutest and although we TOTALLY pushed her husband, Todd, WAY THE HELL out of his comfort zone, he was a good sport too (can you imagine if we’d taken him to the homeless camp we shoot at a lot? HA!)!
The best quote of the entire day was when we stood them again this rusty wall and he said, “I thought the swans and the lake would have made a good photo but rusty metal might be good too!” HA! I was DYING!
Enjoy your sneak peek you guys! I hope you love them and just wait until you see ALL the ones we are making you wait for! HA! You’ll have to wait to see those last ones Julie! 
Filed Under children, families | 3 Comments
josh + lindsay – [St. Louis Engagement & Wedding Photographers]
Posted on October 19, 2009
Kim and I had five full sessions on Sunday. Not because we always plan to work for 12 hours straight but because we had so many great clients wanting photos we wanted to make it work! And it worked out GREAT b/c the day was GORGEOUS and the color AMAZING! Which was good b/c we kind of hate photographing in parks! And we spent a lot of time in a park that day! But the color truly made up for everything. It was incredible. I’m guessing we hit the peak color weekend but am hoping it last the rest of the week since we have a lot more going on this week!
First up on our sneak-peek-o-rama this week are Josh and Lindsay!
Let me say this again, we don’t do many weddings, which means we don’t get a ton of chances to do engagement photos. Which is a shame b/c apparently we LOVE engagement photos!
These two knocked their session out of the ball park! Kim and I are going to show you a TON of photos and we were seriously limiting ourselves! 50 photos in a sneak peek just seemed a little like over-kill! HA! But seriously, they were amazing. SO SO SO much in love and SO great together! We never had to coach them or guide them, they seemed to fall into the most amazing poses laughing easily together and although Lindsay had PINK EYE you can’t even tell! She is BEAUTIFUL!
Thanks Josh and Lindsey for choosing us as your engagement photographers… we had a blast and were so honored to work with you! Enjoy your MASSIVE sneak peek!
Filed Under engagement | 12 Comments