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Fresh Favorites – January 2010 – [St. Louis Newborn, Children, Family, Maternity, Wedding, Senior Photographers]

Posted on January 31, 2010

Squeaking in on the last day of January with our first Fresh Favorites contest of the new year!

So HERE ARE THE RULES:

Leave a comment on THIS post… (and for the families participating in this contest PLEASE explain this to your family and friends as we ALWAYS get lots of comments on the WRONG post and can’t count those votes!)… and basically, the most comments win!  Contests ends tomorrow, Monday February 1st at midnight!

And the prize this month is your choice of 3 sets of wallets or 24 4×5.5 Valentine cards.  Lots of fun choices for Valentine giving… featuring great stuff from these great artists:  Eye Candy Overlays and Art In Stereo

Vote now!  Tell all your friends!

#1 – Stephanie + Matt

#2 – Ainsely

#3 – Reagan

#4 – James

#5 – Owen

#6 – Balogh

#7 – Carsyn

#8 – Charlie

# 9 – Bryce

#10 – Audrey

#11 – Jillian

#12 – Merrill Family

#13 – Jennifer

#14 – Colin

#15 – Angela

#16 – Hanock Girls

#17 – Michael

#18 – Lang Kids

#19 – Lucy

#20 – MacBryde Girls

#21 – Ellie & Livie

#22 – Moore Twins

#23 – Brynn

my favorite photo from today.

Posted on January 29, 2010

Parker.

Love that kid.

i blog to keep me sane.

Posted on January 28, 2010

Today has been pretty bad. Pretty good too, but pretty bad.

It started when the kids were up before 6am. I thought we had broken them of that habit but with skipped naps lately I’ve been putting them to bed earlier and it has apparently bitten me in the ass.

Then I knew we had a friend coming over at 9am so by 7:30am we were cruising the grocery store for food and diapers. To get through the store my kids always get a cookie on one side and string cheese on the other.

By the time we hit the check-out Parker had put too big of a cheese bite in her mouth and threw up all over the floor. So while they rang up my large bill I cleaned up puke with dry paper towels. Do you know how hard it is to clean up puke with dry paper towels in front of strangers completely mortified? Not. Easy.

Missy came over after that and we got to talk about our cameras… she’s going manual and will never look back! The kids were great and played near us and with little interruptions. Which was great except when I realized the playroom was a DISASTER. Every basket and bucket and bin were dumped out. It’s just defeating to see that kind of mess you know?

Then we had lunch. I’m sorry, the kids had lunch b/c just now I realized that some of my mood might be due to the fact that I forgot to eat. All. Day.

For naps Parker had to sleep in the playroom because her bed broke again, and apparently she is unable to sleep away from Bailey because I had to go up five times and pull her out of Bailey’s top bunk. So of course with all the coming and going Parker never napped, and Bailey never napped and Gray maybe squeaked in 45 minutes or so.

Which meant my phone conversation with my sweet friend Lyndsay, all the way from Texas, was cut short when I had a fussy Gray on my lap refusing to be put down and Parker who just couldn’t stop crying. For no reason. Except pure three year old exhaustion.

Luckily I had thrown things in the crockpot that morning and by 4:45pm I couldn’t take the screaming and whining and clinging anymore so I fed them dinner.

Which no one ate.

Because it tasted like bung hole so I don’t blame them.

Except now they will all wake up by 5am because they’ll all be starving.

Or maybe they’ll wake up that early b/c I threw Parker in bed at 5:30pm after 2 solid hours of crying. And Gray followed close behind.

Because my kids are too old for shaken baby syndrome but I was feeling what I imagine those parents feel that shake their screaming babies. I needed them out of my sight or I felt like I was going to lose it.

I had hit my MAX of screaming and kicking and tantrums for the day.

And of course those two continued to scream and kick, for another hour, and although I could still hear them I couldn’t see them and I felt my blood pressure slowly returning to normal.

So I sat on the couch for 30 minutes and played Bejeweled Blitz on the iPhone while Bailey watched Max and Ruby. Just to calm my nerves.

Then we read three books and the screaming from upstairs was slowing down a bit so I took her up too.

But seeing me threw everyone into a tizzy and I ended up rocking Gray for a little while, laying with Parker and singing to Bailey. At 7:15pm I finally headed downstairs to eat dinner myself b/c by this time I was starving.

But that’s when I realized I hadn’t cooked chicken, carrots and potatoes, it was in fact just poop simmering in the crock so I threw it all down the disposal and ordered Imo’s.

And sat down to blog while I waited for my dinner. Because blogging keeps me sane. Then C walked in the door, earlier than I expected, but still late enough that he missed everything from waking up to going to bed with the kids. And I told him about my day. And he could see it in my eyes that I wasn’t going to clean up the house tonight or wash dishes or do anything but SIT and WORK and VEG so the smart man didn’t even mention how trashed the house it tonight. And thank goodness just now my soda and dinner arrived. Because I’m finally starting to feel human again. Oh Mnt Dew. How I love thee.

(Did I mention Chris surprised me with a little point and shoot camera this Christmas? All of these were taken by the kids during Christmas week!)

Kim on TV!

Posted on January 27, 2010

Today was an exciting day! Kim and our other local area coordinators for SHARE bereavement photography (we’re breaking away from NILMDTS and if you have questions please feel free to email us directly as we will not go into details here on the blog) were interviewed for a TV show on the local St. Louis cable channel, HEC-TV.

It was fun, for me, to be behind the scenes and capture the interviews!

Kim almost threw up she was so nervous but she totally rocked it! We both really hope this brings infant bereavement photography some attention and gets the word out about what an incredible organization SHARE is!

We will let you know as soon as the segment airs of course, and hopefully we can share the link here if they put it on their website!

This is Nancy Pasternak Cuneen, the host of HEC’s show, “State of the Arts”, and she was so great to work with! She just had a little one 8 weeks ago and we’re hoping to snag him for his 3 month session! HA! And the awesome person on the right is Bobbi Brinkman, the head of our little group and incredible wedding photographer here in St. Louis!

Isn’t she so cute?

Our other area coordinator is Jennifer Boyd… it’s been such a blessing to get to know these women the last two years!

This is Cathi Lammert, the executive director of SHARE and one awesome lady! We love everything she’s doing at SHARE and can’t wait to work more with them!

Like I said, we’ll let you know as soon as the episode is on TV! SO exciting!

——————–

In other exciting news, The Fresh Reflection is getting some attention already!

First, did you see the new site? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go over there and leave some comment love to those awesome women! And send me your friends and family too! More submissions please!

So a few days ago Nicole posted a link on her blog HERE. And HER friend Nicole popped over and liked the new site so much she’s writing an article for St. Louis Kids Magazine Website! We’re so honored and feel so lucky to be the voice for the awesomeness that is The Fresh Reflection! Thanks Nicole for taking the time to interview us! We’ll link the article once it’s up of course!

Oh, and can I mention how CRAZY stoked we were when we noticed that Stacy Julian, Cathy Zielske and Becky Higgins ALL tweeted about loving The Fresh Reflection? Totally made my night when I saw that! Thanks ladies!

——————–

AND in totally UNRELATED news… our sick little wheezer of a girl decided she didn’t like that we’ve been growing her bangs out FOR A YEAR and went ahead and CHOPPED THEM OFF the other night!

When I noticed I honestly wasn’t sure whether to be insanely angry at all the time we wasted growing those suckers out or incredibly proud that she somehow cut an almost perfect line, if a tad too short! Oh Parker.

—————

Tomorrow is an all-day Mommy day so my online time will be limited as we hang out, work on SLOWLY breathing and chatting with my friend Missy who’s coming over in the morning for a camera lesson!

Have a great Thursday!

Owen. {St. Louis Newborn Photographers}

Posted on January 27, 2010

Yesterday Kim and I got to hang out with Owen. He was sweet as can be and once he fell asleep he was a rockstar! It’s always funny b/c every single one of our clients thinks we want their baby’s awake and really Kim and I are just waiting for them to fall asleep! When a newborn is awake they are all crazy and flailing and their eyes don’t always focus or go cross-eyed and they have no control of their arms/legs/head/anything! Makes for tough photos. We just LOVE those sleepy newborns… but lately I feel like we have been getting some fun shots of them all WIDE awake too!

Look at that little mouth! Too cute!

Owen’s Momma, Annie, Painted his walls… isn’t that awesome? Love it!

I was totally obsessed with his lips! Oh Lips! Love them!

I’ve known Owen’s dad, Brad, since we were kids. We grew up at the same church. We went on vacation together, our families I mean. We were in youth group together. I still see his mom and dad when we make it to church on Sunday’s! And although I know I have three kids so it’ shouldn’t feel strange to see my old friends having babies, it is. Strange. And then when I saw Brad hold Owen, when I saw how he looked at him, how he looked at Annie, the strangeness went away and I was just so so happy for them. I felt like I should hug him and welcome him+them to this crazy amazing club! Parenthood.

And I don’t know if you can tell, but these two guys look EXACTLY alike! Look at those noses! It’s a perfect match! Kim and I just kept saying what a “little brad” Owen is!

Thanks Annie and Brad for having us over yesterday! Owen is beautiful!

Valentine Overlays, Free Printables and Life.

Posted on January 26, 2010

Thanks to Eye Candy Overlays and Designaglow we were able to play around with our Valentine mini session photos to make cute wallet sized valentine’s for the kids to give to friends and family! Taking my kids out asap for some shots so we can do this to hand out at preschool this year!

————————

Kim and I used overlays, our own drawings and other digital items to create a few free printables for your kids! Perfect coloring pages for Valentine’s Day!

Go HERE to download the free PDFs!

———————-

Thanks for all your comments from last night. They were just what I needed. And if I had it in me I would email all of you to thank you personally b/c they each touched me. And truly, I just appreciate you all sharing your lives with me. It makes it easier to admit things like that on the internet!

——————

Today was a long day that started great with a fun newborn session and ended in us finding out, after almost 3 hours at the doctor, that Bailey has asthma also. Which means maintenance drugs for her as well as Parker. And we also found out that Parker is “breaking through” her maintenance drugs which is a bad thing. Our pediatrician said she’s not sure what else we can do so we have to call the allergy specialist in the morning. Aside from a very severe case of asthma, she tossed out the fact that the allergist may decide to test her for Cystic Fibrosis. It’s a long shot but cases like hers have been known to happen I guess. The testing would only come as a last ditch effort to figure out what’s happening.

It scares the shit out of us. We’re both assuming it’s just a really severe case of asthma but once you hear something scary like that it’s hard to get it out of your head. No matter how far fetched it is. Chris is mad she brought it up at all and I guess I kind of like knowing the worst case senario. I don’t really know what to think tonight actually.

I’m exhausted, I’m scared, I’m worried and I’m just trusting that God has a plan for our family and it includes Parker having a long and healthy life. If you wouldn’t mind, I would love some prayers while we seek additional advice from a specialist and try to put our trust in the Lord.

my constant dilemma. am i alone?

Posted on January 25, 2010

Growing up I always said I wanted to be an artist. Then in high school I had a few traumatic “art events”, tales for another post, and I decided art wasn’t for me but archeology was. Until I met a college professor who said if I ever wanted kids I couldn’t be in that field, that men were better suited (I kid you not, ask my mom!). And my dream was truly to just be a mom so I gave up on archeology. But I still loved history and I had to declare a major so I thought maybe anthropology was my field. But what the heck kind of job can you get with that major? So I literally took every random class I could get my hands on for three and a half years before calling it quits. Because really, all I wanted to do was get married, have kids and stay at home to raise them. I never knew what I wanted to do so I thought that meant God wanted me to “just” be a mom.

And I did get married. And had kids. Three of them right in a row actually. And I was basically a SAHM. But of course we couldn’t afford two or three kids on a teaching salary so I had to make money. And during that time is when I found I loved my camera. And so Jodified was born, and then Fresh Art. And I finally have a job! A career. And one that I am incredibly passionate about!

And so it’s great right? That I have a job that fulfills my passions? That I absolutely hands-down love what I do? And I fulfilled my oldest dream of being married and raising a family? I have it all right? It’s great, right?

It is. Great.

Except.

Sometimes I don’t understand why God finally showed me my passion during a time in my life that I have three small children home with me. Because here’s the thing. I’m passionate about being a mom AND a photographer.

I love everything about being a mom. Reading books over and over. Art projects. Getting messy. Playing outside. Building forts. Teaching. Games. Cuddles. And there is even a part of me, deep down, that loves the cleaning/housework/laundry/cooking. Jammie days and running errands. Play dates. All of it.

I would be a really good stay-at-home mom.

So here is my issue.

I’ve found my other passion. And now I don’t want to just be a mom. I want to work and create and dream and succeed.

My head is full of ideas. All day. Every day. All I think about is our business, our industry, my passion. And all I ever want to do is work. Be that shooting or editing or blogging or designing or emailing or tweeting or whatever.

Today was a Mommy day. We were home most of the day, besides some quick errands and preschool for the girls. I did load upon load of laundry, we painted, I read, they ran outside, I cleaned (not that you can tell right now), they skipped naps… and there is where my day fell apart.

They didn’t nap. And I wanted to work. But no one slept. So I had no work time. And I was pissed off. Not because they were grouchy or acting out because of no sleep. But because I didn’t get what I wanted.

I am always in this constant battle in my head. Trying desperately to be present with the kids but always wanting to work. If I could send the kids away every single day I would feel guilty but I would also love it.

It makes me so sad b/c I feel I was designed to be a mom. I’m good at it. I know I am. But most days I just don’t want to be a mom. I want to be a successful photographer. And I know it’s because up until recently I was never good at anything. I was never known as anything. I had never stuck with anything or loved anything this much. And now I’ve finally found it. I’m not floundering, wondering WHAT I WILL BE WHEN I GROW UP. I’m here, I’m grown up and I have my dream job. But my kids get in the way.

Isn’t that awful? But I feel that way. A lot. And I can’t figure out how to shut off my work brain and just BE with them. I don’t know how to stop checking email or writing down the ideas that fly through my head or turn off Twitter. Why would God give me my life’s dream in two ways and make me chose every single day which one I will pay attention to b/c it is just impossible to do both at the same time?  I can’t be a good mommy and a good photographer. I have to pick. And this is a minute by minute decision in my head.

But why do I always want to chose photographer? Why do I want to work more than I want to mother? What does that say to my kids? Do they notice? What does it say about me?

Today was a long day. With no relief because Chris won’t be home until after 9pm and he left before 7am. So I know that’s aiding in these thoughts. But I just wonder, do any of you love your job so much you’d chose it over your kids? Does anyone else struggle with these feelings and thoughts daily? This is the reason I stayed up until 3am making a paper banner for Parker’s birthday party. Guilt.

I hate struggling. And if we could afford it I would quit Fresh Art for a few more years until the kids are in school. Because I know I’d be a great SAHM. But I have to work. And make money working. And to make money we have to grow our business. And to grow this business we have to figure out new ways to market. So my brain is working ALL THE TIME. And there’s not much room for kid craft ideas or imaginary play anymore. And I feel awful. But I also know that if we could afford for me to quit, and I did, it would be like a part of me died and I would never be the same.

I have to work. I have to live this passion. But how in the hell do I balance it better? How do I turn off my head while I’m home with my kids?

UGH!

Thanks for the vent. I had to get this out of my head b/c my brain has been consumed with these thoughts all day and if I didn’t write it down I wouldn’t sleep. And then poor Kim would have an even more tired partner for tomorrow’s session!

Thanks for listening. I love this blog.

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