Oh man! There is so much going on right now! Last days of school, me running every day, working on my FOURTH week without Mnt. Dew, last minute sessions, etc! Tonight the kids have their last choir practice with a pizza party afterwards and I’m supposed to be going to a preschool open house also but after a LONG day I think something has to give! Anyway, I have ten minutes to hit POST before the next thing on my list starts yelling for my attention so I’m going to stop chatting and get to these super sweet photos of little Stella!

Headband from LMG Creative Designs!

Stella was a dream! So easy to work with and slept like a champ! She ate a ton too but that’s nothing new! Thanks so much to the Bates family for bringing her to the studio… it was great to meet you guys and cuddle with your sweet baby girl for a little while!

Happy Wednesday everyone! Counting the days until summer when our family catches up from a long season of not seeing each other much! Summer is my FAVORITE time of the entire year because Chris is home so much and we’re together doing the things we love! Total bliss! And just days away!

Chris and I will have our eighth anniversary this fall and in all that time (plus our dating and engagement) he’s been a coach. There hasn’t been one year he’s taken off since he started coaching our college club lacrosse team our junior year so that’s what? Eleven years? I suck at math but I think that’s right. Anyway, so for a LONG time I’ve been a coach’s girlfriend/fiance/wife.

Being a coach’s wife doesn’t mean anything to you unless, well, you’re a coach’s wife. Similar, I’m guessing, to being a military wife. It’s something you can’t understand unless you’re living it.

So for eight years I’ve lost my husband to a team multiple times a year (he’s always coached two or three seasons). And for all of those years I watched his teams with a veil over my eyes. A veil of three tiny babies at home with an absent/distracted/over-committed/exhausted husband. I’ve always gone to as many games as I could either taking the kids with me or hiring a sitter. And I have ALWAYS adored his teams because he mostly coaches girls and so I’ve gotten to know many of them. Most babysit here at some point too. I love their parents and watching the games are always exciting. (Meaning, what I’m about to say has NOTHING to do with the sports/players/parents/etc. and all to do with ME.)

BUT. While I’m passionately cheering at the games it’s always been really hard for me to be at home, alone with the kids, all the other times. Doing dinner/baths/bed every night for weeks and months on end is exhausting. And after a while it makes me a crabby+complaining wife and mother. I’m not always a good person during his coaching seasons. I get frustrated, pick fights, go to bed angry, etc. Because for SO many years we had SO many little kids (the WORST year was after Gray was born and the kids were infant, 1 and 3 years old and Chris coached all three seasons. Rough does not describe it!) and Chris was just gone ALL THE DAMN TIME. After a while I really started to resent his coaching. He was gone all the time and it’s not like he was making millions of dollars doing it either.

Do you hear what I’m saying? I was really starting to HATE what coaching did to me and our family.

But then this year rolled around. And the kids were older+more independent (read: potty trained, sleeping through the night, getting dressed alone, etc.). And we lived in our own house. And we gained incredibly supportive neighbors. And the kids were older. And it was easier to go to games. And dinner/SHOWERS/bed wasn’t super hard anymore (no diapers, jammies on by themselves, showering alone, etc.). And my best friend’s kids were bigger too (they’re the same age as mine almost) so we could actually hold conversations on the sidelines (her husband, Kevin, coaches with Chris in the spring). And LO AND BEHOLD I started really enjoying soccer!

It’s like it kind of crept up on me too. Because it’s not like life has been perfect and I still can get tired of doing so much on my own and Chris and I still had a few big arguments (mostly about me doing so much on my own! HA!) BUT as the season wore on I realized just how much I was loving it all. For the first time in a LONG time I loved watching him on the sidelines doing what he loves. His team was AMAZINGLY talented and I found myself really watching the girls play. I got to know some of the parents better and they supported our family this season in ways we can never repay. And as the team did better and better it felt like I was a part of it all instead of just the grumpy house wife waiting at home. I was excited to hear about the games I couldn’t go to when he got home! I didn’t mind as much when he was on the phone at night with his other coaches discussing practice or reliving games. I started to understand soccer better too because I was actually watching the games.

I needed this year so desperately. I needed to see all the GOOD that Chris coaching does for our family. I needed to see that having my kids grow up on a soccer field is a really amazing thing. I needed that veil to lift so I could see just how freaking talented Chris truly is at what he does. He is hands down one of the best coaches I’ve ever seen. And I’m not just saying that because I love him. I’m saying it because his girls WANT to work hard for him! And they work SO hard. His assistant coaches and his team and their parents… well… you just don’t get a better group of people.

That’s why, tonight’s loss in the second round of districts was so heart wrenching. Webster DESERVED that win! They played harder than the other team and played with more heart. But even with this devastating loss, at least for me, this was the best season ever. It showed me that Chris is exactly where God has called him to be, doing exactly what He designed him to do. I feel so lucky that my husband gets to have a job that he’s so passionate about! Not everyone is so lucky!

Kevin, Chris, Dan (ignore the weird face he’s making… they let me take ONE photo and Dan was talking I think!) and Todd (who left early this game). Four guys who work harder than anyone I know!

Five of the best cheerleaders around! Our kids and the MacBryde (Kevin and Angie) girls! Gray was sick for this game so he’s missing from the photo.

Tonight Angie and I got sitters so we could have a date and enjoy the game together (along with SO MANY of our friends and family who came out to support the team!)… it’s SO great having a friend in the trenches with me!

So for the first time ever I can’t wait to see what the Webster Groves Girls Soccer Team can do next season! There is NO part of me tonight glad that soccer is over… I so wish they could have advanced. My veil has officially been lifted and from here on out I expect it just gets easier! I’m so proud of the team this year and SO SO proud of my awesome husband. He worked harder this season than I’ve ever seen him work.

And I guess to wrap up this LONG post… I just want to let ALL the parents of very little kids know that IT GETS EASIER. A LOT easier. Oh it gets busier and maybe more emotional (dealing with bigger issues like bullies, friendships, etc.) BUT it’s just easier. Trust me!

Webster is having their graduation this Friday so while I have a few other sessions that should have their sneak peek before Allie, I wanted to bump her ahead so her family and friends can see her photos before the big day! We had a gorgeous morning at Forrest Park and she was SO easy to work with! Incredibly beautiful and very comfortable in front of the camera. Seriously, it was a dream session!

Happy Graduation Allie! Have an amazing summer and good luck next year!

Last week was tough. Three super sick kids spaced out over six LONG days at home dealing with high fevers, puke, sore throats, arguments over who gets to pick the movie, etc. So moving into Mother’s Day all I really wanted was one huge BREAK from my kids. But we had things to do at church and family to visit and just a whole long list for the day ahead of us. At 3:30pm when we were just getting home and our day was already way off schedule (things at church took WAY longer thane expected which bumped everything back) I was ready to call our other plans quits. Gray was crabby and not feeling 100% yet, we had skipped naps which was not the best idea and the part of the day that I actually wanted to do seemed impossible. But as we pulled into the driveway, Chris convinced me that we could still do it all and so we changed clothes and headed out. All I had really wanted to do yesterday (aside from getting my break) was to take Chris and Bailey to Sylvan Springs Park where I had taken Gray and Parker over spring break back in March. I wanted to show Chris this enchanted place because I want to spend lots of time there this summer. So we got out there around 4pm and had just a little bit of time before we knew we had to head back for dinner. But that little bit of time was all I needed. I needed to watch my kids play and laugh and I needed to sit next to my husband and soak it all in. 30 minutes was all I got yesterday and it was perfect!

Sometimes that’s all you need I think. I had dreams about having the entire day to myself but it was good to spend time with family… really good. And at the end of a busy day at the end of a long week I had just enough time to be reminded how much I love my family! And I think that’s what Mother’s Day is really all about. It’s about being a MOM. So you make sacrifices and you do things for other people and you balance a busy schedule and you get your kids ready for the day and you take care of things you committed to and then, in just 30 minutes time, you play with your kids and remember why you do it all day in and day out.

My Mother’s Day wasn’t perfect but it was the perfect day to be a mom, if that makes any sense!

I have this quote hanging in my kitchen from HERE and I’ve been told it’s a bit melodramatic but I don’t think it is. I think it’s perfect. It says, “It is very simple, she thought. You get up, you go, you do, you see, you put one foot in front of the other and along the way you do your very best to enjoy it.”

I think that’s the beauty of being a mom. No day is perfect all the way through. At least I haven’t had one! HA! And some days just downright suck! But you do it all again and again because even on the worst days your kids make you smile or laugh or remind you just how much you love your imperfect life!

I hope all of you moms and soon-to-be moms had a fantastic day yesterday! Chris gave me the one gift I asked for… he took a few shots of me which each of my kids! These shots are not perfect but MAN do I love them! Thanks C!

The girls turned the camera on us and ONE was in focus! HA! Not the best shot but Chris and I are so rarely in photos together I treasure this one also!

Welcome to the new week!

I think it’s appropriate to give this sweet first time mom her sneak peek on Mother’s Day don’t you? Jessica and her mom brought Tinley to the studio and they were so great! Of course we love every single baby fix we get but one of the best parts of our jobs is that we get to know the moms so much better during the 3+ hour session! Tinley was just a doll during her session (even if she pooped on almost everything she touched! HA! I’m still working on her laundry!) and it was great to chat with Jessica during their session as well! To ALL of our moms, especially first time moms, I want to wish you the happiest Mother’s Day ever! I think the first one is always the sweetest!

Jessica, I hope this makes your Mother’s Day just a little bit sweeter!

I am totally kidding with that title up there. Thoughts on Thursday. HA! I’m just never cool enough to remember to do Ten on Tuesday or What I Wore Wednesday (sweats every week would bore you, no?) or any other cool blog thing that other cooler bloggers do. Because I’m not cool. And I’m not in any cool blogging circles. But that’s ok.

For two days I thought we had a major plumbing issue in our one and only shower/tub because the water was draining SO slowly until I realized tonight that the stopper was half-way up. I’m a total genius.

One of our awesome sitters came over for 30 minutes today so I could go run 2 miles. For free. Because she’s awesome. And I was so proud because even though my legs hurt today I ran two miles without stopping to walk (a month ago this wouldn’t have been possible) but when I told Chris tonight he said he thinks I need to up my mileage. That he bets I only burned like 100 calories or something and it’s not even doing anything. WTF? I almost punched him in the nose! He quickly recovered by telling me how thin I look and how proud he is of me right now but DUDE! Up my mileage because I’m not running enough to lose any weight? Doesn’t he know he just took any momentum and excitement I had over my own personal HUGE accomplishment and flushed it down the crapper? Ugh. Up my mileage. Shit.

So I’m at the end of three weeks and NO fountain soda. NO Mountain Dew at all either. I am drinking a TON of water with a can of orange soda here and there when I need a treat. But honestly, now that I know I’m not burning anything with my runs I think the little treats might be done too. The difference between this time and ALL the other times I’ve tried to quit is that I don’t miss it. Usually it’s a struggle every single day without my Mnt. Dew fix but this time it just kind of grosses me out. I’m working really hard right now to try and lose about 15lbs so I think that motivation is finally helping.

Thursdays are my ABSOLUTE favorite day of the week because I LOVE me some TV. Oh man! I DVR SEVEN shows on Thursday night and that gets me through until Sunday which is another favorite night! What’s funny though is that as much as I love watching tv at night (while I edit/blog/answer emails) I’m kind of looking forward to summer when my shows take a break because I have a big pile of books I’m waiting to tackle!

My kids are sick this week with this weird super high fever and crazy sore throat sickness. So I’ve had no babysitting or school this week to give me a break. Oh man. And I hope they get better soon because Sunday we have some fun plans for Mother’s Day!

Speaking of Mom’s Day… I have a few things we’re doing for our own moms that I’ll try to share next week. The kids and I got our craft on while we watched movies this week!

Ok. I just needed to chat. I tried chatting with Chris when he got home but if I talk too much about too many mundane/random things his eyes kind of glaze over and I lose him. And it’s too late to call my girl friends. So I blogged. Tomorrow night I have another sweet newborn to share on here and this weekend I’m catching up on personal photos that I got edited today while the kids watched Beverly Hills Chihuahua. It was either edit some personal stuff or stab my eyes with a fork… why are so many kid movies SO stupid? Anyway! I hope you had a great Thursday!

Most newborns come to our studio but this year I am also offering in-home sessions too. Nicole wanted me to capture her sweet Elliana’s first days at their home and it was totally my pleasure! Luckily it was HOT that day so we even went outside for a few semi-posed shots (that is something I can’t promise for an in-home session but the stars aligned and she slept for us!). Their home was absolutely gorgeous, Elliana was a doll but the funniest part of the whole morning were the animals! They have two dogs and three cats who are VERY protective of their new baby! Most of the shots I can’t show you because they were taken when Nicole was nursing but the pets wouldn’t leave Nicole’s side! It was hysterical! And take a look at this shot I happened to catch when one of the cats was truly done with me being there…

Scary right? When I snapped it I couldn’t believe I’d caught him looking at me like that! Really the animals were super sweet which is what made this even more funny to me!

Ok, how about some cute baby girl photos instead of scary cat photos now? HA!

Even beautiful homes don’t always have the best light so if it’s warm enough I think going outside is a good back-up plan… especially if the house has a big front porch because that light is gorgeous!

Getting shots like these is really best done at the studio where Kim and I can both be there so that we’re making sure safety is first, but luckily I had the 30mm lens with me so I could be sitting close enough to Elliana that I was just inches away at all times. We also got lucky that the hot temps and her own little sound machine tucked in the basket with her kept her sleepy!

Thanks so much for sharing your baby girl with me Nicole! Her little grin in that first shot totally kills me!

Happy Thursday everyone!

Every year on April 23rd we celebrate the little life of Seamus Johnston by going to the NICU at St. Louis Children’s Hospital and photographing other babies. Every year it is a huge honor to meet new families and hear their stories. Every year Seamus shows up in some way… like this year there was a baby born on his birthday and at the same gestation (the Johnston’s call those little coincidences “God-incidences” because they aren’t ever totally random). Every year we see nurses and doctors we’ve grown to love. Every year we get to spend the day with Tom and Sharon (best part!). Every year there are tears. And every single year there is so much love, joy and laughter filling those hallways in the NICU.

This year we met and photographed eight families and ten babies. They are all fighting for their lives and as you scroll their photos please say just a little prayer that they all get to go home very soon!

The NICU is a sacred place. When you walk the halls the prayers are almost palpable. The life and death that those walls have witnessed is almost overwhelming. Being there when Seamus died was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do but coming back every year to celebrate his life is always one of the best days of my year! Shoot for Seamus has become the best way to spend the anniversary of his death for Tom and Sharon too I think… if I can assume that for them. They get to see his room. They get to remember his short life spent there. They get to hug and visit with nurses and doctors that kept him alive for those seven and a half weeks. They get to walk the halls they know as well as their own. And then they get to go up to the garden. The garden where Seamus took his last breath but also saw the sky for the first time.

In honor of Seamus they have purchased a tree in the garden overlooking their favorite place to sit where they could see Forrest Park. It’s in the most perfect spot. And you know what? When I went back to read THIS post (my original post about Seamus), like I do every year, I realized that the branches in this photo are from their tree. Seamus’ tree.

See, when I took that last shot I was standing in front of a bench… the bench where they held Seamus as he died… and if you peek through those trees you see a gap… that’s where I stood to capture the photo from three years ago. Just another God-incidence if you ask me!

I love that his tree stands taller than the others, reaching for the sky and waving in the wind. I love that there is such a beautiful place to go sit and remember him.

Tom and Sharon! Two of the most amazing people you could ever meet! Because of them all of those families got sweet photos of their babies last month! They’ve become two of our dearest friends and have the sweetest baby boy, Mac, who my kids are kind of obsessed with right now! Bailey asks me constantly when she’ll be old enough to babysit Mac! This is a horrible snapshot from the last time they were over but it’s the most recent photo I have of Mac and I just have to show you guys how CUTE he is!

SO after the world’s longest blog post….

A huge thank you to all the families we met that day. Thanks to all the nurses that made the images possible! Thanks to the parents that shared their babies with us for a short time. Thanks to Kim for being my friend and totally understanding all of this. Thanks to Tom and Sharon for, well, everything! Oh and for taking us to lunch every year at my favorite sandwich shop!

Shoot for Seamus YEAR THREE was a huge success!

For the last several years I’ve gotten to photograph Carsyn (and her brother and sister!) on her birthday. We’ve gone to the city and a park and other places but this was by far my favorite session with her! Carsyn, in the past, has been kind of hard to crack. She’s slow to smile and hard for me to make laugh. Last year we tried shooting down by Busch Stadium because she loves baseball but even that didn’t make her all that happy to get her picture taken! So this year we decided to let Carsyn design her own session. Her and her mom talked A LOT about what she wanted to do and settled on a “camping” session based on her current favorite book, My Side of the Mountain. It just happens that was one of my all time favorite books when I was her age too! Amy went all out bringing things that would help make it look like Crasyn had run away to live off the land! And aside from the insane heat, bugs and my allergies going nuts it was so much fun! It was neat to finally see her engaged, happy and really loving her little pretend world! No fake smiles at all! HA!

Then a quick change so mom could get a few shots she wanted (ie: pretty portraits!) and we were done! She had fun, she played, we shot and were done! Super quick and worked perfect for Carsyn!

Thanks Amy+Carsyn! You guys were awesome!

The same day we photographed Addie we got to see Edie (say that ten times fast!)! Nicole had the most AMAZING outfits ready for her! Even a one year old session can benefit from our awesome stylist Katie Mohr! Did you know you can hire her just to come to your home to pick out the clothes for less cost? Totally worth it! Nicole is completely stylish on her own so her and Katie together… watch out!

Edie was pretty funny… she was NOT interested in what we wanted to do until we shooed mom and dad upstairs to watch tv and had her to ourselves… then she thought we were pretty funny! It’s hard for parents to leave the room I think but they were awesome! SO easy going and were totally happy to let us play with Edie… so all of these shots are surprises! They haven’t seen hardly any of them! I hope you guys love them!

This one makes me laugh so hard! Doesn’t she look like a little Buddha baby? Meditating or something! So funny!

We snuck in this one last set-up before a VERY sleepy Edie gave up and started fussing. So we got mom and dad and went outside to just beg her for a few shots with them… but she had other ideas!

She fell sound asleep in Daddy’s arms!

When she was REALLY asleep we got mom in there and we just adore this sweet shot of a family we truly adore!

Thanks so much to Nicole, Chris and Edie! We can’t wait to see you guys again in the fall!