Happy September!  We are going to make this a fast and great!  One of our new offerings coming up is a calendar in our popular accordion books featuring your images!  So new, that we don’t even have a product image of it yet!  We love it so much, we are going to give away a set of 3 to the August Fresh Favorites winner!

You know the drill, vote by commenting on THIS post.  Tell all your friends, family, neighbors, mailman, who ever you can to come vote!  The deadline is TOMMORROW (September 2nd) at NOON!  So get the word out!  QUICK!!

#1 – Karsynn

#2 – Jackson

#3 -  The Woodards

#4 – Colin

#5 – Alivia

#6 – Paxton & Bauer

#7 – Audrey

#8 – Billy, Leah, & Ashton

Anyone else had this stomach bug that seems to be ripping through St. Louis right now? Ugh!

Our life may be a little more loud and hectic, but life with any amount of kids is loud and hectic! I constantly wish there were more hours in the day, but I bet most moms feel the same way.  So I don’t feel like I’m doing some amazing job that no one else is doing, it’s just I have a few more than most! And in some ways, that makes it easier! No, I haven’t completely lost my mind… well, maybe I have, but that was long before now!

How is it easier? My kids always have built in playmates for one! If someone wants to play basketball, they can always find someone to play along and not have to go hunt for a neighbor. If they want to play a board game or air hockey, someone is always up for joining them! And because they are also so close in age, they often play on the same teams, have the same friends, and best of all, have insight on homework and school projects to help each other!  And not to mention the benefits of the older ones being a little more independent and able to babysit!

No, it isn’t all rainbows and sunshine.  Far from it!  The sheer amount of laundry is enough to make me want to jump off a cliff most days.  If I don’t do 2 loads a day, we are buried in it!  You don’t EVEN want to know my weekly grocery bill (or rather, when I actually MAKE it to the grocery store) and trying to create menus that everyone is happy with is near impossible (and thus I hit take out and drive-thrus way too often).  Most days I feel like a huge failure because I simply cannot give each child my 100% undivided attention, but I guess we all experience mommy guilt, right?  And while things have gotten a little easier with them getting older, the days when I had 3 in diapers (I had three of them 2 and under at one point plus a 5 year old) are such a blur.  We were just making it through each hour and each day.   But in the long run, I do think my kids are becoming really neat little persons because of (and maybe a little in spite of) living in a large family.  And how else could you shop for Homecoming dresses and diapers all in one day?

And since posts are just not quite as fun without photos, here is a recent and very rare photo of myself & the man that shares this crazy life with me.  The man I’ve been married to for 21 years.  The man who is honestly my best friend.  The man who still says I’m beautiful with no makeup and total beach hair.  The man who would love to have many more children, but knows I might make true on that jump off a cliff thing.

And the motley crew on the first day of school.  Yes, total snap shot.  Yes, they totally look uncomfortable as they humor me each year as we are rushing to get to the first day on time.

Abby is our oldest and will be 16 next month.  Unbelievable to me, and we couldn’t be prouder of the young woman she is becoming.
Billy is next in line at age 12.  He loves playing just about any sport and is pretty good at them through my mom goggles.
Jonathan is our third born and is 11, 13 months younger than Billy.  He has a *wicked* sense of humor and keeps us all laughing.
Samuel follows right after at age 10, 13 months younger than Jonathan (notice a trend here… to the day 13 months).  Sam is our most responsible and compliant child, very quiet, but once he gets going with can chat your ear off.  Most likely on some random sports facts because he is a huge sports fan…. which we apologize all the time because you couldn’t get parents any further from sports fans as Bill & I.
Grace is our second girl at age 8.  She is our social butterfly.  Small and mighty, and a little on the bossy side.
Next up is Thomas at age 5, our new kindergartner.  He is such a sweet and gentle little guy, who on the third day of school one of his teachers let me know he’s already told her he loves her.  That’s just so Thomas.
And rounding out the clan is Sophie at age 3.  Sophie is sort of our bonus baby as I felt I was “done” after we had Thomas… but she definitely rounds out our family perfectly.

That’s “us”… we are not perfect.  I don’t have it all together.  My kids aren’t all geniuses or sports prodigies.  We are just a typical family with just a few more kids than most.

Yesterday we met up with Gena and her newest daughter, Karsynn. A sweet two week old who has two older sisters ages one and three…and Gena? She’s doing great! At least she looks amazing! I was a wreck when I had three so little! But Karsynn definitely stole the show!

Not sure if you noticed Jessica Rose’s new overlays but I used a few of these images to play and am in LOVE!

To buy these overlays go HERE!

Thanks for your patience Gena! We hope you love your sneak peek!

Sophie and I had her open house last week, which was nice on Thursday because I think she’s getting bored with all this Mommy & Me time with the kids in school and would rather be hanging out with other little people.  We got to go in and see her classroom and drop off our supplies.  Sophie has her own crazy sense of style, and I used to do posts all the time featuring her fashion statements.  This is how she decided she wanted to go meet her teacher:

I did talk her out of the snow boots before we walked in, but be warned, Mrs. Berner, they may make a reappearance before the snow starts falling!

She (and *I*) really loved the neat light up table with shapes:

But then she found the babies!

and herself!  oh, how she loves herself!

and did I mention she loves babies?  Because she does!

So I’m confident she’s going to have a great time tomorrow, but it’s still very strange to think that ALL of our kids will be at school.  All those years when I had so many little ones at home to care for, when this time seemed so very far away, now it just seems like a blink ago.  And like the little old ladies that would smile at me as I was frazzled with a slew of little ones that I had to take to the grocery store alone because my husband was traveling would say, “enjoy this time, it goes so fast, and they are the best years,” now I’m the one saying those same things!

My current theme song (that totally makes me cry each time I hear it… yeah, I’m a total cry baby, but it’s so powerful!) is Blink by Revive:

But before I hit the road dropping kids off and heading for Union I just HAD to share the awesomeness that was Alivia!

And aside from how totally adorable she is, the back story, to me, is the coolest part of her session!

Her mom, Kari, wasn’t happy with the photographers she was suggested to look at by friends and so hit the good ole trusty Google.

Which is how she found us. Love Google.

And then once she was poking around our blog she found my personal blog.

And that’s when her husband realized he was in the same college fraternity that Chris was in!

Tyson instantly reconnected with Chris and it’s been awesome! C is actually playing on a Beta softball team tonight actually!

We rarely photograph babies awake but Alivia had other plans that day! She was awake most of the time! She was so calm though we were able to still get some great shots!

This shot was TOTALLY for Tyson! He really wanted her on this football and Kari added the bow… she likes all things fancy!

See? Fancy! Most of the props we used in this session Kari brought! It made our job super simple!

We loved getting to hang out with this family but I think C got the best part! Softball! HA!

Thanks Tyson and Kari for a great session! Alivia was amazing and so so beautiful!

Have a great Monday everyone!

Like I hinted at, we LOVE and ADORE this family! We feel blessed to have them as clients! We always laugh through the session and have a blast!

So just mere hours after Audrey’s first year mini session… here is your sneak peek!

Audrey was on the move during her session so we had to keep rethinking where+how we would shoot her! Just keeps us on our toes! HA! My favorite part of the session was all the OPEN-MOUTH kisses she kept giving me! I love babies this age!

Thanks Clowers for coming to the studio today! Have fun at her party this week! And Happy almost Birthday Miss Audrey!

Until I was getting dressed yesterday morning and paused to look in the mirror. Which I rarely do. Fully dressed. And never naked. Anymore.

And what I saw instantly changed my mood because what I saw staring back is a woman that looks fat. IS fat. And it was all I could think about. F.A.T. In places I’ve never been fat before. Looking like I’ve never looked before. As if I don’t recognize my own body, which I guess I really don’t.

And in that moment I didn’t care what I put on because no matter what clothes I chose there would still be that under lying truth I couldn’t hide from the world. I am Fat. Or, I should say, fat for ME. I FEEL fat. If there is a difference at all in that distinction?

So I left my bedroom in my long cotton dress, the one that makes me look pregnant but is so comfortable, and went about my morning with the kids. After getting them all dressed and breakfast on the table and backpacks packed and counters wiped and teeth brushed we were getting ready to leave when a thought popped into my head.

I am more than my fat.

I am MORE than my fat.

And I wanted to scream it so loud my throat would hurt from the effort.

I AM MORE THAN MY FAT.

For the first time, in a long time, I remembered that my body doesn’t define me. I am SO much more than the extra pounds I’ve packed on. And I know that my friends, family or strangers on the street don’t look at me and think, “wow! She’s really let herself go! She must eat and eat and eat to have gained so much weight!” so why do I assume they all think awful thoughts about me? Why do I assume people aren’t going to like me because of my weight or how I look everyday in general? Why do I make it such an issue in my life?

Because I’m ashamed. Because I know how to take care of myself. Because I hate to admit that I can’t do it all and I let exercising+eating right go first when life got too intense. Because I hate the way I look so i assume everyone else does too.

But where in the world will that get me? Hiding Oreos in my bedside table or something that’s where!

So today I decided that NO MORE will I let my body define who I am and how I feel about my life. NO MORE will I let it get me down. I am more than that. I am a good mother and wife. I’m an artist and friend. I’m a blogger and photographer. I’m a daughter and sister. I am ME and that should be enough! Extra weight or not. Make-up on or off. Hair frizzy or straight. ENOUGH!

So on the way to take Bailey to school I got an idea and called Kim, who was taking her herd to school too. And I asked her to come over afterward to take a few photos of me. When I told her why and what the photos would be of she just laughed! HA! But like a good friend, she came anyway.

And she captured me.

Me.

Unedited and everything.

With stretch marks and cellulite and chub.

She captured my most insecure parts too.

My neck. I hate my neck. And I didn’t use to but now it’s nearly an obsession. That deep crease in the center that is my gauge on how much weight I’ve put on.

The part of my neck I have always hated because kids made fun of my moles. Moley moley moley (Austin Powers anyone?). Hate them and still think about them like a 13 year old girl.

And my no-make-up face. Which I am insecure about. Because I hate the feel of make-up but hate the way I look so tired and not-put-together without it. Usually I choose feeling good over looking good. But always feel bad anyway. And my birth mark. See that small red circle in between my eyes? It used to be a lot redder but it still the first thing I notice when I look at my face in the mirror. Even though I do like my freckles! I just never focus on the good, always the bad.

I stood on my back porch in a white tank top and underwear. While Kim photographed the backs of my thighs and the fat that is squished out on my back because of my bra, you know, “back fat” and even a full body shot. So trust me, I have a lot more photos, but out of respect to my husband, who thinks I’m over-sharing, I’ve decided to leave them off of here. But I’m not deleting them. Because to me it will represent the day I said I AM MORE THAN MY BODY.

Frankly, I am more than a lot of things! I am not defined by any one thing. I am a sum of the parts. My parts equal my whole. And what got me to this weight, well, I’m pretty darn proud of! Three kids in three years and two successful businesses aided in me gaining this weight. And how can I take any of that back?

I think all women are insecure about something, a lot of things actually. But I also bet that we all are insecure about our bodies. I was talking to my best friend about this today and she agreed that she’s insecure too. Which didn’t surprise me because of my belief that every woman does feel insecure, but shocked me b/c I’d DIE to look like her! She’s gotta be about 50lbs lighter than me which means she’s lighter than even my goal weight! And yet she feels the same way i do! She has bad days because of how she THINKS she looks too.

And I think universally we all need to get over it! Let’s not let our bodies, our FAT (or non-fat as the case may be), define us!

Today I am going for a run, if I have time. And I’m going to try to eat better because I do want to see a little change. But if I drink a Mnt Dew or skip a workout I won’t feel bad. And I’m going to get dressed today and know that I am beautiful. No matter what weight I am. AND I’m going to remind myself that I AM MORE THAN MY WEIGHT. And rest in the fact that others don’t judge me as harshly as I tend to judge myself. Today I’m going to photograph a one year old and a newborn and be proud of my work. I’ll welcome clients into my rental house and be proud of my home. I’m going to enjoy my family this morning before work and have a blast with our best friends tonight. I’m going to have a good day because I know my whole is the sum of all parts and that one tiny part of who I am does not define me!

Was it a bit crazy to show my chubby tummy on the internet? Maybe. Did some people tell me it was unprofessional and not blog-worthy? Totally. So why did I put it all out there?

Because I KNOW that if I feel this way than you do too. Or at least I’m assuming you do! HA! And like Kim and I decided the other day, our clients aren’t just hiring our work, they are hiring US. And this is who I am. My daily struggle to believe all that I just wrote. To live out the fact that I AM MORE THAN MY FAT even on days I want to crawl in a hole to hide! Our clients aren’t hiring perfectly thin, high-style women. They are hiring tired moms that do the best they can and who are going to start sharing more of themselves with the world. If that stops anyone from hiring us than so be it!

Happy weekend everyone! Let’s celebrate our bodies today! Good or bad! Let’s love them!