2 up.

Go check out Jodified Designs b/c I just posted two new sessions with a beautiful baby and twin 2 year olds! So fun!

Tomorrow I’m taking a class all day on Photoshop, so excited. 8 full hours learning and learning and learning. So E.X.C.I.T.E.D.

Grey’s.

I live for Thursday nights. I know that sounds sort of sad, but I really do. I like tv, love tv in fact and always have. I also love to read and paint and scrap and photograph and vaccuum and write and and and. I think people have a stereotype that goes along with tv addicts and I’m here to break that. Or maybe I’m just paranoid people think I’m boring or stupid for loving tv so much. Whatever.

The point here is that Thursday nights I watch The Office and Grey’s Anatomy and ER. I’ve been waiting all summer for my shows to come back on and then the night of premiere Thursday I find out that The Office and Grey’s are on at the SAME TIME. We don’t own a VCR and we don’t have Tivo/DVR. I looked at iTunes but you have to buy the whole season for $35 which I wasn’t about to do. My friend taped it for me, but when do I have time to go over there, sit and enjoy my show for an hour without children? Never.

So tonight I’m telling this to our babysitter and my adopted little sister(as in she feels like a sister, not as in my parents actually adopted her), Kelsey, b/c I know she loves Grey’s too. And she tells me that, are you ready, you can watch it FOR FREE at ABC.com!

So I just sat here for an our watching Grey’s and am beyond happy. Who knew? Well, maybe you all did, but I sure didn’t! FREE! My shows whenever I want them! Couldn’t be a better way to end off this amazing day!

new parks

It dawned on me a few weeks ago, as I was taking more and more photos of beautiful families, that we don’t have a family portrait ourselves. How sad is that? So I emailed an old friend who is an amazing photographer (she did our wedding) about trading work. She just had a little girl and I assumed she was in the same boat as me… always behind the camera, never in front. Anyway, our session with her is in a few weeks and she gave me a name of a park I’d never been to as a possible place to meet. I took the girls there this morning and then this afternoon we hit another park she suggested that I hadn’t thought of. We had a great day… here it is in photos! (Poor Parker is barely in any of them b/c when you can’t run like your big sister and are trapped in the stroller there aren’t quite as many photo opportunities!)

Img_7331 23 Img_7385 Img_7393_copy Img_7413 Img_7419 Img_7364 Red_dress

off the pity pot

Well, after not much sleep (Parker has a cold and was up a lot last night) I woke up actually feeling better.  Which sort of surprises me b/c Chris is barely coming home at all tonight after soccer b/c he’s going to the football game (head up there if you can to buy a t-shirt and support the WG girl’s soccer program!) so that means another long day of no Daddy, just Mommy.  But somehow what little sleep i did get has energized me enough to kick me off the pity pot and realize that I have it pretty darn good.

My girls are amazing. I have a supportive, if busy, husband. I have incredible parents that help out constantly. I have good friends far and wide. And I am in love with my work. Not many moms that HAVE to work can say that they love it all. And that’s the truth, I love every second of my work for Jodified Designs, even the boring stuff.

So today I am ready to conquer the world. Yes, Elmo is on right now, but as soon as Sesame Street is over the tv will go OFF and before Parker wakes up from her nap Bails and I will paint together. Then we’re trying a new park this morning which is exciting! I’m planning on getting lots of work done during nap time and then we’ll probably hit a park again this afternoon. I CAN DO THIS! I can do it all and be happy doing it.  I think about once a month or so I need to feel overwhelmed and then I’m ok.

Are there moms out there that read this blog? Do you get overwhelmed at times? Or do you feel that way most of the time but only let yourself admit it every once in a while? How do you balance it all? I would love to hear from others!

anyone?

Tonight was supposed to be a good night.  And it was.  Loved The Office and ER… sad that my friend Tracy had to tape Grey’s for me since we don’t have a VCR or Tivo/DVR and they had to have The Office and Grey’s on at the same time.  Got to grade tests for Chris with him which was fun.  Spent a little while relaxing and reading blogs I love before starting work.  That was at 10pm.  Now I’m just sitting here feeling a little sad.

Please don’t hear me say that I’m not thankful for all that I have. I’m just so tired.  Do you know that when your husband works 12-14 hour days, you’re starting your own business, you work for your parents, you volunteer at church and you have two babies in diapers that you don’t sleep much? 

Lately my life has been about work. Which is amazing.  If I didn’t have kids, and could wake up every morning to put in a 10 hour day, I would be cruising along and totally enjoying my creative life. I would love every second of it! But when you add the kids in there it all is just so different. Do you know that Bailey and I used to paint almost every single day? We also worked on "school" multiple times a day, which was everything from learning colors, letter and numbers, to reading, outside time, etc. Do you know how much Elmo she watches now just so I can get some work done? And little Parker will actually sit and watch the tv too b/c it’s been on so much lately.  She’s 10 months old! The fact is, I just can’t get all my work done at night when the kids go to bed, while keeping up with the housework and everything else.

Where is the balance? And how do I find it? I want to be, more than anything, an amazing mom. And I want my girls to learn from watching me live my life that anything is possible if you work towards achieving your dreams. But how can they watch me do that if I’m sitting in my office all day while Elmo babysits?

Jodified is such an amazing blessing in my life. I’ve never actually worked at something that fulfilled me. In the next two weeks I have something like 13 photo shoots scheduled! For a mom with sub-par equipment, an old computer, and no time… my business is starting to take off! But somewhere in there I have let go of being a good mom and that makes me want to cry. Aside from winning the lottery and hiring someone full time to watch the girls, I just don’t know how to do everything and do it all well.  And not just well. Who wants to run their business WELL or mother their children WELL? You want to do it all GREAT.

Any thoughts? Any advice? Anyone want to come edit some photos while I play with my kids? Or put away the mountain of laundry that has taken over my bedroom while I paint with my girls? Anyone need a whole pile of Elmo videos so I am forced to turn off the freaking tv? Anyone?

new carpet

After that freak and terrible storm a while back my parents house is finally getting back on track… new carpet throughout, refinished hardwood floors, refinished bar, new windows, etc.  Still a few things to finish, but mainly now it’s all about putting things back and living again.

So that’s where I’m headed today (to help mom carry and unpack boxes) with Parker after we drop Bails off at school and get me a BIG Mnt. Dew from Bread Co… it was a late night last night working!  Have a great and productive day! 

And really fast… how happy is everyone that shows are NEW finally?!? So excited for tv right now!

things are changing…

I have been so busy WORKING, I haven’t been working on the Jodified side of this blog. So I just did a little work on it, and will work more this week and the coming weeks… I just created an album of one shoot from this weekend and will get the other session albums up this week.  Go check it out!

JODIFIED DESIGNS

Want to share a real quick view into why I love Photoshop so much:

Img_6751 Pb_ez_vignette_copy Vivid_color_copy1 Pbcolorselect_copy_2

One image, four ways. Love that you can play with your photos in such amazing ways!

ALSO, do any of you remember Jello Pudding Pops? When we were kids we would fight over the chocolate/vanilla swirl, then reluctantly eat the chocolate and maybe, if we were desperate would we eat the vanilla.  They are BACK!  I’ve looked for these things for years and YEARS and yesterday I found them! Chris was SO excited last night when I showed him! So when C’s brother Matthew said he was coming over to watch The Hills with me, I couldn’t wait to show him too (b/c if it had been Abbie she would have died!)! But oh how he made us feel old as he didn’t remember them at all!  Stupid little brothers! We had fun though and it was great to watch The Hills with someone who gets as into it as me, actually, he gets WAY more into than I do b/c he reads all the gossip mags and knows what’s happening before the show airs! And to those that watch, or just Kels, I think Jason’s future wife is not at all cute! And I still hate Spencer!

Ok, I’ve been cruising today with work b/c Miss Stephanie was here this morning and I need to get back to it!  Finishing photo edits, fixing up the KCCI Christmas card, catching up with emails, laundry (that is on my bed for the second day in a row… it will get put away today!), and a trip to the park if the rain holds off.  Lots to do so let’s get on with it! Enjoy today!

fun at the fair

Just so people don’t feel sorry for me and my bust of a fair, I need to show you that I did have fun…

At the last minute C called a baby-sitter and came up to help me with my lines of customers.  It was so great just to have him there supporting me, but all the other women at the fair were glad for his breaks of entertainment also!  At my expense of course!

Rolling2 Rolling1

#1 am so proud that I fit in there and #2 am so proud I can still be that flexible!

It was completely unflattering, embarrassing and loads of fun!  It was great just to get a chance to hang out with Chris!  I love that guy!

Cnj 

Depending on my kids that have decided napping is slightly over-rated, I’m revamping the Jodified site tomorrow and will be adding two new sessions from the weekend.  If nothing gets done, much like today, stay loyal and check back on Wednesday!  And keep the comments coming!!!  It was so great to have a few comments today!  Bloggers LIVE for comments and I rarely have any! So thank you to you today… so great to have some support!

missing mac

Any investors out there?

Here’s the thing.  I have a MAC.  I got my mac about 6 years ago, have updated it almost yearly to keep it hip, current and running smoothly.  Recently, KCCI bought me a PC to work on.  Then they bought me Photoshop and Illustrator that was put on the PC.  Since then I’ve been teaching myself the ins and outs of PS and ILL and chugging along just fine.  Now that Jodified Designs is up and running, and now that me and Photoshop are good friends (we were enemies for a while there until Trish came and helped our relationship a TON!), I do ALL of my work on this PC.  HOWEVER, for the last month or so, I’ve had the PC on my desk next to my baby MAC b/c the internet only worked on the MAC… so all day I was working on the PC, burning things to disks and then emailing or accessing the internet from the mac.  It’s been driving me CRAZY! And yes, I know there is some little thing that works better than burning disks all day, a flash drive or something???  Anyway, fixed my internet problem on the PC and so as of right now I am writing this on the PC and my MAC is staring longingly at me as it knows it is finally obsolete. 

It’s a sad sad day.

I LOVE my mac.  I NEED my mac.  I need someone to give me lots of money so I can go buy a NEW mac, along with Photoshop and Illustrator (i have an OLD version of those two programs I work with and need the newer versions) so that I can kick it up a notch!

Any wealthy blog visitors today wondering where to go shopping?  How about the Apple Store?  How about on behalf of me?  :)

I keep telling myself that if I just keep chugging along I will make enough money to buy the lens, computers and software I need to be a competitive photographer!  Call me the little engine that could!

Just sitting here trying to work while gazing sadly at my mac.  i love you mac.

on expectations.

I have always been the kind of person to set my sights low. I’m not sure why, except that I hate to be disappointed I guess. Even as a kid I wouldn’t let myself get excited about something until the exact moment before it happened. One benefit of this is that I don’t wait for things or look forward to things too much and am able, for the most part, to live in the moment.

Since having kids though, a lot of that has changed. Once you have babies you can’t help but look forward to the first word, first steps, first tooth, first day of school, etc. And that, without my knowing it, has seeped into other parts of my life, because I was really looking forward to the YMCA Fair today. I mean, I was excited.

I was excited to finally be promoting ME and not someone else. I was excited for people to see my work that aren’t already friends or family. I was excited to talk to people and book appointments and sit behind my table and watch people get excited about what I do.

Unfortunately, that didn’t happen today. None of it. Not because I wasn’t there and not because I hadn’t stayed up until well after midnight working on final touches on my portfolios and not because my appointment book wasn’t open and ready. Nothing happened today b/c NO ONE CAME. Literally. I think maybe FIVE people walked into this huge gymnasium where a dozen or so of us were set up, smiles bright, ready to sell, and most I think were lost trying to find the track. The only people that bought anything today, from anyone, were the vendors themselves.

To say that I was frustrated is an understatement.

I’m not sure what I learned today, if I should stop getting excited for things or stop expecting certain results or stop working my butt off even if nothing comes of it. Because I really don’t think I can do any of those things.

You see, I have girls now.

And in the midst of this disappointing day, Parker said “mama”. To no one in particular, but she said it. The M-word came out of her little mouth and I was there to hear it. (So were Chris and Bailey if you don’t believe me!) So I can’t go back to the way I was and not get excited about things to come b/c of my kids. One day soon that babbled “mama” will be pointed straight at me, and first steps will be taken, and first peepee’s on the potty will happen. I’m excited for those events, and I’m looking forward to them, and I have high expectations for my girls. But I won’t let myself get so frustrated when the outcome isn’t exactly what I dreamed. And I’ll remember that those moments are amazing, but so are all the others. All the other everyday moments that are so easy to forget.

So no, the fair was a bust, but the day was amazing.

[NOTE: Chris just leaned over my shoulder and was offended that I said "I set my sights low". Not on HIM. I married my dream man. Is that better C? :) ]