Almost too depressed to blog tonight but since I've gotten some emails wondering how the kids are doing I thought I would do a brief update.
Around 8pm at my inlaws last night Gray started crying and didn't stop. By 9pm we were home (I think) and surprised the girls with their NEW bed… I have photos to share. SO we got them in their big girl beds and by 10pm Gray was crying again. I tried sitting in the bathroom with the hot shower going for steam, I tried baby Vicks on his chest, I tried suctioning his nose, walking, bouncing, rocking, anything to get him to calm down. My mom even came over in hopes that a new person holding him would help. Unfortunately the only thing to calm him down was C driving around for 45 minutes. But just an hour after they got home he woke up crying again. This time he wasn't catching his breath. He would take 5 small gasping breaths for every big one that actually got air in his lungs. After 20 minutes I started to get worried (not to mention that he's never inconsolable) and called the after-care hours nurse. The nurse asked me how long he sounded like that, she could hear him over the phone, and when I said 30 minutes she said, "go to the hospital. How fast can you get there? Should I call 911 for you?"
We called my mom (this is 1am now btw) and left the house before she even got there… I've never left my kids unattended but when the nurse said he wasn't getting enough air I freaked out and told Chris we had to leave NOW. My mom got there minutes after us.
Two nose vacuum sucking things, one breathing treatment and a prescription for MORE F-ING ANTIBIOTICS for his TWO RAGING ear infections later we were home at 4am with a sleeping baby.
The girls were up at 5:30am excited about Santa.
One hour sleep. On Christmas Eve.
We could barely keep our eyes open while the girls excitedly opened all their gifts from Santa. The day we'd been planning for, saving for and working for was here and we were too exhausted to enjoy it.
Right now I am laying on the couch working on my website (which launches in SIX days if I can find time to finish it!), Chris is sleeping, Grayson is sleeping (thank God, it's been a long day) and the girls are sleeping… although they spent the night, Christmas night, at my inlaws just in case Grayson takes another turn for the worse and we have to be up all night again.
We left my parent's house early tonight with a crying Grayman and I cried all the way home. I cried in the shower holding my wheezing baby boy too and I want to cry now. To not have everyone home on Christmas makes me incredibly sad. To be so far past exhausted that I can't enjoy life right now makes me sad. To be so worried about Gray makes me tired. And sad.
The girls, I hope, are still too young to really understand how stressed we are with Gray. They had a blast opening all their amazing gifts today and had a ton of fun with the entire family over at the Allen's tonight. I hope they don't realize they should be home with us tonight.
It's just hard. I looked back and I think that Parker got her first cold before Halloween and since then we've had stomach flu, strep throat, colds, pneumonia, asthma and RSV hit our house… with no breaks. And of course in the midst of my busy season when I'm already stretched thin.
Sorry to vent to you all. I promise tomorrow will be a better day!
And speaking of tomorrow…
I will have the girls choose the Christmas card that is their favorite and that family will win something (I honestly can't remember what I said so I will have to go back and look!) fun! I will announce the winner no later than tomorrow night.
And he's crying again.
I got the sweetest comment from my friend Becky (thank you for your perfect words) and an email from Terri, my MIL, with this video link. That and the fact that Grayson woke up but went back to sleep fairly easily is making me smile. Just wanted to share that I'm not completely depressed tonight!