enough.

Kim and I had a newborn photo session today and no matter how sweet our clients are (today’s are some of our favorites ever so it wasn’t them) I always find myself apologizing and making excuses for why we have our studio set up in my in-laws basement. I tell them we don’t want to have to work as much as we’d have to to be able to afford a big space because we want to be moms first. And that’s totally true, but yet I still apologize. Which is so crazy because having our studio at their house is PERFECT for us right now. It’s close to our homes, it’s central for most of our clients, it has plenty of space and the best part? IT’S FREE. Because my in-laws are the most giving people you’ll meet. It’s free so we’re able to use our income to, you know, help take care of our families. We bring more home each month because we have our studio there and that is just awesome right now. But for some reason I’m afraid to just OWN that unfinished basement studio most days.

As I was thinking about that today I realized that I do the same thing with our new home. If you come over the first thing I will mention is that it’s under 1000 square feet and TINY. I will point out all the things we haven’t finished yet or the mistakes we made. I will describe, in great detail, how we plan to add on someday. I do all of this which must make me sound like I’m ashamed and that just infuriates me!

I AM SO FREAKING PROUD OF THIS HOUSE! I’m proud of what it took to get here, I’m proud of the work+time+money we’ve invested in it already, I’m proud of how happy we all are here and I’m proud that our marriage survived (and THRIVED) during one of the most stressful years ever.

Is our home tiny? Totally. But does it fit us perfectly? Yep. At the end of the day we are awesome at organizing, purging and using every square inch of space available to us. Not one inch goes unused and I think that’s awesome because SO many people live in homes they barely use. What is the point of owning something you can’t utilize to its greatest potential? Why pay for all of that extra space? Why clean areas you rarely use? Why pay for furniture to fill rooms you don’t live in? I just don’t get that and so it makes owning a small home almost like a badge of honor. I truly believe that.

BUT. I guess I still apologize and point out the bad because I’m worried not everyone agrees with me you know? I’m always concerned people feel sorry for us living in a small space or something. I don’t know.

What I realized today is that we have enough. We are not rich (by any stretch of the imagination!) but we have enough to live on. We have a small home but it’s enough for us to all fit comfortably. We don’t have great cars but they drive us where we need to go. We don’t have glamorous jobs but they fulfill our passions and make us enough money to survive. We have enough because God is blessing us in just the exact right amounts. He’s teaching us along the way that we’d rather be close together in a small home because we do better together. He’s teaching us to budget and stretch the small incomes we make. He’s teaching us that enough, for us,  is perfection.

As I was pulling out some images from Bailey’s birthday party Saturday it hit me hard that we truly do have enough room! We hosted 30 people for dinner in our small house and we fit just fine. Everyone had plenty to eat, places to sit and toys to play with. There was good conversation, laughter and joy.

14 little kids, 3 big kids and 13 adults! I bought 30 chicken breasts and threw them in the crock pot that morning with BBQ sauce for pulled chicken sandwiches (thanks to the brilliant idea my sister gave me!), Adriane brought potato salad and my mom brought some appetizers plus other snacks, fruit salad and cupcakes+root beer floats for dessert! Super easy and I was able to relax and just enjoy the party!

Some of our best friends (we missed you MacBrydes and Enlunds and GoGo!) celebrating Bailey’s six years of life (a month late!)! Thanks to everyone that came and helped fill our home with so much love and joy!

The next time someone comes over I’m going to try really hard to not say one negative thing about our new house! It’s going to be hard because it’s so easy to feel inferior for me but I’m convicted to not put down God’s blessings for our family.

5 thoughts on “enough.

  1. A house full of joy and love is a home. I, too, fall into that excuses and apologies routine when I don’t feel full — it’s a character flaw on my part. Our home isn’t much, but we have held onto it through the worst times and have kept our family together under its’ roof. I have to think that is more telling about the occupants than the latest/greatest/biggest anything. Half full or half empty, it’s all about how you view the glass. I choose half full.

  2. Oh dear Lord… I do the same thing. Unfinished basement studio… unfinished projects outside, unfinished this and that… always explaining… always telling everyone my dreams just in case they might think that I ‘LIKE’ things unfinished and unruly…. But you’re absolutely right, we have enough to live with and God’s blessings are all around, even when I don’t think so.

  3. LOVE this. Good thoughts. I am often frustrated that things aren’t overly ABUNDANT in my life. Why can’t I get ahead, ya know? But then I am humbled again and again when it feels like we’re running out of something (money, food, photo gigs, time) and no matter how close to the edge we get, somehow, there is always enough. Just like you talk about. God will provide. and it’s okay that it’s not in excess. We are good enough with the amount we have today. Thanks for sharing! No more apologizing!

  4. Amazing pictures!!! Such happy kids and it looks like you had beautiful weather.
    Your post reall caught my attention. I do the same thing. All the time. And yet, in our also tiny 1000 sq ft house, I am HAPPY. I LOVE it. It’s my “cottage.” It’s OURS. And yet I apologize. Why? Because something within me is still trying to “measure up”?
    I don’t know, but I agree with you; ENOUGH. What God has blessed us with is MORE than enough. We are grateful and I will not apologize any longer.
    Thank you!

  5. I relate . . . we just gave up a gorgeous studio space for more financial freedom and to be true to our actual shooting style – not studio photographers at all! Still find myself apologizing for the decision – even though I’m 100% sure it was the right choice – craziness! I’m totally o.k. with raising three kids in 850 sq. feet though . . . it’s trendy urban chic to live small in my circles. Own it. : )

    P.S. a friend pointed me to your blog saying I would like it – and I do.

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