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A few thoughts on boudoir | St. Louis Boudoir Photography
Posted on January 10, 2012
Saturday I worked from 8am until 5pm shooting women in a beautiful suite at the Ritz Carlton in Clayton, MO. At 7:15pm after Chris brought me a huge burrito from Chipolte I passed out on the bed. I did wake up an hour or so later to hang out with my sweet husband but I can’t even describe to you how tired I was. The awesome part of it was though, is that it wasn’t exhaustion like I have after a wedding or a full day of kid-mini sessions. I’m tired after those kind of days but this was different. It felt like I was absorbing every single woman’s insecurities and nervousness while trying to give them empowerment and the truly strong belief in the fact that they’re gorgeous.
You guys, I take a lot of photographs in a year. A lot. I should check my shutter clicks from last year! And a lot of shots that I take are important life moments. Weddings and births come to mind as some of the most important. And they are. SO are newborn photos and family sessions and really, any photograph you take that allows that person to have that exact moment captured forever is important. A lot of photographers say photographs are the first thing you’ll run into a burning house to get (after your family is safe). They’re all important.
But after this weekend I truly believe that boudoir photography might be the most important shots out there.
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A woman walks into the room clutching a bag filled with items she purchased for that day. Pieces of clothing that she felt bad spending money on because she so rarely spends so much just on herself. She stands there praying for confidence, probably having skipped a meal that day and most likely having done some kind of crash diet that week. She’s greeted and told to make herself comfortable so she sits but all that’s running through her mind is how in the HELL are they going to hide my cellulite and what do they do about stretch marks and as she goes down the list of things she hates about her body she’s also accutely aware that since giving birth no one has seen her this naked with all the lights on in a very long time. Her palms sweat a little, she feels the tingle of heat under her arms and she starts trying to calm herself down to stay cool. When she’s asked to go change she stands in the bathroom and quickly disrobes while carefully looking at all she brought to figure out what the hell she was thinking and wondering if it’s not too late to back out. Choosing the most conservative thing she owns she takes the tags off and slips it on. Slowly and breathing ever so carefully she looks up at the full length mirror and shudders. Three babies and eating too late at night and too much soda and never making time to exercise and that damn sweet tooth is staring back at her. It’s painful. Her eyes go directly to all the bad parts and tears spring to her eyes. Is she insane? How can she go through with this?
She knows they’re waiting so she puts on a brave smile and walks slowly out into the room.
Something changes during a boudoir session. You go from being completely insecure and making excuses for your body shape (whether you’re skinny or fat or somewhere in the world of chubby like me), blaming it on kids and age and whatever to feeling free.
At the end of a very long day I somehow got the nerve to let Missy and Katie photograph me. And I’m talking photograph ME. They saw my nipples and my chub and well, everything aside from the true nether region that no one needs to see unless a baby is popping out. As they photographed me and told me I was beautiful and looked at the back of the camera smiling over the shots they were getting something in me started to change. Or melt. Or open. I’m not sure how to describe it but something MOVED in me. I began to feel sexy. I started to believe them when they said I was beautiful. I was excited to try new poses and asked them to keep going.
In my opinion, every single woman needs to do this and some (like me) need to do it multiple times. Not for our boyfriends or fiances or husbands but for ourselves. I don’t care if you’re a size 14 like me or a perfect size 4, there are parts of you you’re insecure about. Every woman is. If you’re skinny you’re too skinny or worry your boobs are too small. If you’re chubby you’re probably worried about a whole lot more. But regardless of what you hate about yourself, when you take part in this kind of session you stop worrying about what isn’t perfect and start loving yourself.
I got my photos uploaded and even looking at them after the fact I looked at myself with different eyes. I could appreciate my curves. Actually, I love the softness that they bring my body. I have great boobs and have never been more proud of them! Even with all the quirks and pieces that I’m not in love with I kind of fell in love with myself. Not in a conceited way but in a way that is so much healthier than when I was in the bathroom near tears as I put on my first ever piece of lingerie.
I’m not saying that I’m the best boudoir photographer out there or that Katie is the best boudoir stylist out there. We still have things to learn and bumps to smooth out if we’re ever going to do mini sessions again.
Here’s the thing. IT’S NOT ABOUT US. It’s about YOU. Whether it’s us or someone else, you should suck it up and let someone take these images for you. Chose someone you trust and that’s good at shooting+editing of course but do it. This was life changing you guys. Life. Changing.
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Next go HERE and read about what another woman who came Saturday felt after the session!
The Canavan Family | St. Louis Family Photography
Posted on January 9, 2012
Over Christmas break I got to photograph a family from my church and it was such a pleasure! I grew up with Liz and Carolyn but haven’t really seen them in years and years. Now Carolyn’s a mom and Liz is on her way! It’s SO much fun to see old friends become parents! Little Ellie was adorable (we’re totally buddies now!) and I had so much fun watching this family love on her! Grandma, Sara, asked me to come over for just a little while and capture them, as they are. Which is of course the best kind of session! Casual and relaxed with some quick portraits thrown in!
Thank you all for letting me come and get a peek into your world! Liz… I hope to meet that little man soon! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!
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5 Comments so far-
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January 20, 2012 at 9:21 pm -
Looking beautiful, Canavans! Congratulations to everyone on new and upcoming babes!
Great photos.
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Jodie&Chris LOVE LIGHT | St. Louis Photography
Posted on January 8, 2012
Oh my gosh I don’t even know where to start! Do you ever have weekends that just FEED YOUR SOUL? Times that fill in the gaps you were missing so that you return home feeling more solid and ready to tackle the week? That’s what the last 48 hours were for me.
It started Friday night with the BEST DATE EVER that Chris gifted me for Christmas. It started with FREE baby sitting (all night!) and a Love Light session with Kim! I’m not sure if you guys know this but I kind of invented this form of photography. We were even published for it and now other photographers are using my idea around the country! It’s one of my most proud accomplishments and I’ve never gotten to experience it myself! So this was HUGE for me but even better that Chris planned it because he kind of hates being in front of the camera!
And you should have heard Katie and Kim yelling at me! I was the WORST client! Seriously BAD. Leaving the session it hit me though, I think I was verbalizing what most clients are thinking! “How does my stomach look? Can you see my fat rolls? What about my neck? Do I have two chins or one? Are we good kissers on camera? We’ve never kissed like this in front of anyone! How does it look?” And oh man the list goes on. I couldn’t shut up! It was uncomfortable and HARD to be on the other side of the lens! Katie and Kim were doing a great job, it was just ME! Every time they’d get us posed just perfect I would burst out laughing! There are so many shots of Chris looking at the camera like he wants to kill me and I’m hysterically laughing! HA!
Ultimately we had an incredible time and I feel SO blessed to have Kim and Katie do this for us for free! THANKS FRIENDS!
From our Love Light we met our BEST friends out at our favorite restaurant (Trattoria Marcella) for dinner where we had awesome conversation, the most incredible food and for the first time ever I found a wine I actually like! I so rarely drink alcohol because 1. I hate the feeling of getting tipsy/drunk 2. I have massive control issues so the thought of my body losing control bugs me and 3. I hate the taste of it all. BUT man, did I like riesling wine! Then from there we went to Cyranos for dessert!
To end the night we checked into the most gorgeous suite at The Ritz!
I’ll blog soon about our time at The Ritz doing 7 boudoir mini sessions yesterday! For now though, I want to show you our Love Light session!
See? Chris=totally frustrated and me=laughing hysterically!
AGAIN! Me laughing and Chris looking at Katie like, “what the hell do I DO with her?” HA!
Ready for me being REALLY dumb?
Chris is just looking at me like I’ve lost my mind! HA!
Towards the end even Chris started acting silly! Or maybe he was just reacting to me shoving my leg in his face!
You guys, I can’t tell you how much this means to me. I’m going to make an album with ALL the images first because I love the silly ones as much as I love the serious ones (maybe even better b/c those are SO us!) and then Chris and I will decide which one is our favorite and I’m printing it big for our bedroom! These certainly won’t get stuck on a hard drive!
THANK YOU KIM for shooting these and editing them SO darn fast! She totally knew it was driving me crazy not knowing what they looked like! Can we say impatient? HA! And a big thanks to Katie too for giving up her evening to fight with me over posing! Next time I swear I’ll listen to you better!
Caroline 6 months | St. Louis Family Photography
Posted on January 5, 2012
I was sitting here thinking about how many times we’ve photographed this family and I can’t remember them all! And that is SO awesome to me! It hit me that if I’ve worked with one family for so many years and so many different times at so many different places it must mean this little business is official! Which is funny because obviously it is! Taxes coming up reminds me quickly of that! HA! But it’s our clients that solidify it for me. Especially the ones that come back year after year. The ones that think we’re worth the cost and time and effort to get their families dressed cute and to the location on time because we KNOW it’s all a huge sacrifice. As I thought back on all of our sessions with Maureen, Andy and their three gorgeous kids it just made me smile. I have the best job in the entire world.
Thanks so much Andy and Maureen! I hope you know how much we appreciate you choosing us to be your family photographers! It’s an honor!
Behind the scenes | Newborn Photography
Posted on January 4, 2012
I asked people on Facebook today what they’d like to see more of in 2012 and one thing that came up a few times from other photographers is they’d love to see more pull-back shots at our studio. It just happens I took a few at one of our last newborn sessions! I will try really hard to take these kind of shots at every session if this is something people are interested in! If you ARE wanting more of this please let me know… if this totally bores the heck out of you please let me know that too! I’d love to get more feedback this year on what you like/don’t like/want/wish we’d do/etc. 2012 is going to be a big year of changes for this little company and the more input I have the better!
One random thing was different for this session… normally we work on a table but since it was safer to do siblings on the floor we just kept going once she was asleep and didn’t move up to our table until she needed a feeding break. Also, what you can’t see is that behind Kim is our other heater and three baskets.
Basket number one is for dirty laundry. After each session one of us takes the dirty (peed/pooped/spit-up on) laundry home to wash.
Basket number two is for our “poop blankets”. These are receiving blankets we use to wrap the baby in between shots… blankets they can poop in and it’s no big deal. We also use them to shove in buckets if we need a little extra boost to to roll under the blankets on the bean bag to help prop a baby. We have at least 20 of these blankets and rarely go through all of them!
Basket number three is our “to do” basket. We trade photos for headbands with a few different ETSY owners and when we get shipments we put the ones we haven’t shot yet in that basket. Once they’ve been shot we move them to our headband stand and hat basket. We always ask parents to chose hats/headbands from our stash that they like but in addition to those we always shoot the ones we’ve been sent. It keeps us on task and constantly inventing ways to create new set-ups to match our new headbands.
Next time I’m at the studio working I’ll take wider shots as well so you can see all the other junk that goes into our studio work! Our unfinished basement studio at my in-laws might not be super glamorous but it works. It’s free, it allows me to grow the business in other ways without having to worry about making rent and really I kind of love it. It’s cozy down there in winter and sunny in the summer. We have good music or HGTV and we always have a blast at our sessions. Who needs a big huge beautiful space to create great images?
Comments
16 Comments so far-
January 4, 2012 at 11:56 pm -
I honestly LOVED spending time in the basement studio. Totally comfy for me, the mom, and a perfect space for all your props. And having both of you felt like a total luxury– the baby-handling was so great and the whole experience was easy, calm, fun, and great.
And I love your pullbacks here! -
January 5, 2012 at 12:16 am -
I seriously appreciate this post SO MUCH! I love your work and it makes me feel SO much better that I am working out of my living room and unfinished basement too. I would love to see more posts like this
Happy New Year! -
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January 5, 2012 at 9:51 am -
I am in your same ‘unfinished’ mode…. with my 10×20 white backdrop being used as a wall partition! LOL! Oh how I wish we lived closer to hang out because I really think it would be a lot of fun
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January 5, 2012 at 8:12 pm -
My favorite post in a while.
I love seeing your creativity and I love seeing your ” behind the scenes”. Thank you for sharing. -
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Reagan turns 7 | St. Louis Family Photography
Posted on January 4, 2012
All of a sudden I have so much editing to do! Hello 2012!
Reagan was my last session of 2011 and she was the perfect way to end the year!
Seven images of sweet seven year old Reagan…
Happy Birthday sweet girl!
St. Louis Boudoir Photography
Posted on January 1, 2012
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Simply beautiful! And I loved the link you put on facebook to a clients blog about not waiting! I hope you do these minisessions again soon. I think you are right that every woman needs to have pictures of herself like this.
I have followed you for a few years now after coming across your website from a friend. I’ve always wanted to do a boudoir session but I of course have insecurities. I have 2 children that I love with all of my heart but I’m not the girl I was before I had them. I’m told I look great but underneath all of the clothing is what I call miles and miles of stretch marks, misshaped parts of my body, and not something I’m happy with. As I read your story and completely understood your feelings while looking into the full length mirror I had tears in my eyes. I wish I could feel that beautiful, strong, and fearless as you did! Thank you for sharing, you’re beautiful inside and out!
ahh.. she gets it! shes been bit by the bug, this is why I shoot boudoir and I believe they are the most important thing I do… kudos!
This brought me to tears, Jodie. Everything I couldn’t put into words…you said it here. I completely agree with it all. I wish every woman could do this and be changed. I know I am.
You ARE beautiful. I had a bourdoir session a few months ago and with a group of photographers will be doing more this weekend. It is such a freeing feeling!
I honestly thought you were talking about me … hiding in the bathroom, checking myself out in the mirror and wondering what in the world I was doing. I have no idea how they turned out, but I would recommend this to any woman. Each one of us has a different story. Thank you for documenting mine. <3
You two are amazing. The beauty and gorgeous-full-hearted-ness you are bringing to women in that part of the world _remains_ a delight to behold and an inspiration.
That is such a perfect way to sum it all up. I wasn’t there, but I can imagine…and it’s on my bucket list of things to do! I knew there had to be a photo in the bunch that was blog-able. Great work Jodie (and Katie), I do believe that this will be a big hit for Fresh Art!!
This is definitely on my bucket list and I am signing up the next time you have one after reading your post!!!
Wow! What a beautiful you! Inside and out. What a revelation! And so true. Let’s get over what society says is beautiful and accept ourselves for what GOD has made us to be. And of course – beauty is actually on the inside after all. So happy you had this experience and shared as it is a message so many women need to hear!
Go Jodie!
WOW! Beautiful!