I have a studio.
A real live space that has keys and six windows and a big closet and a cute entryway and its own mailbox. It’s not in my dining room and it’s not at my in-laws house. It’s in a beautiful old building in Webster Groves. Just a few blocks from my house, our church, C’s school and the girl’s school. And since I like to stay within a one mile radius apparently, it’s perfect! HA!
If you don’t want to hear my photography testimony just skip this post. But because I am sentimental, I have to record this milestone in my life.
When Bailey was one, Parker was a baby and I was unknowingly pregnant with Grayson I started my first photography business, Jodified. We were young (27) and BROKE. We needed extra money and I needed an outlet away from my kids. I had a crappy digital camera, not a ton of technical skill but a creative eye and a deep desire to do well. I was a MOMTOG to the max. I was barely taking money and really, looking back, shouldn’t have taken a dime. I was that bad. Selective color and over editing and some technical issues. I cringe when I look back on those days.
I was CHEAP so I got busy fast. It was spring 2007. I had Gray in the summer of 2008 and we had three kids under three at home. Chris coached three sports that year and Jodified continued to take off. I was still cheap and SO busy. The extra income was helping our family and at that point in our financial life I couldn’t see past the fact that while we needed every dime, an extra $100 wasn’t enough for the time (I wasn’t really $100 but I was CHEAP) I was putting in. I was working for NOTHING, not sleeping and looking back I have absolutely no idea how I made it through that year.
I met Kim in the fall of 2008 when Gray was just an infant. For the life of me I have NO idea how we started talking about joining forces but I do know that I had SO many discussions with family and friends that thought I was crazy to merge businesses. Jodified was growing fast (I’d been published in the spring of 2008 in the PPA Magazine which was a huge honor for me) and they thought it would be a step back to merge. So even though I had many people warning me about the decision, I moved forward with Kim and Fresh Art was born in the summer of 2009. We came together to be one of the first set of partners specializing in high-end newborn photography in our area. We spent WEEKS discussing how we would organize the business, who would do what, what our name would be, building a website, and pricing. OH PRICING. Kim insisted we more than double what my current prices were and it TERRIFIED me. Like I said, we just needed money so badly I didn’t care how much it was just that it WAS, you know? But I trusted her and well, four years later it was the best decision of my life.
Merging with Kim to form Fresh Art was a major turning point in my life. I started to really understand what running a business meant. I got more organized because it wasn’t just me anymore that would suffer if I dropped the ball. And I got better. Kim is one of the best photographers I have ever met. She just GETS it. She taught me so so much. From 2009-2011 Kim and I worked like mad. We continued to be busy even with the economy crashing and us definitely not the cheapest photographer in town anymore. It was magical! The success of Fresh Art helped Chris and I buy our first house in the summer of 2011 and do things I never thought we could do. I owe so much to Kim.
I honestly thought I would work with Kim forever so when she told me in the fall of 2011 that she needed to quit I was devastated. And heart broken. She wasn’t just quitting Fresh Art but was moving an hour away (and I thought she lived far away before when she was just 15 minutes away!). That winter was really hard for me. I felt like i was losing not only my business partner, but a friend. One of my best friends.
But in true Kim fashion, she encouraged me to keep going, she helped me restructure Fresh Art so it would work for just me to run, she helped me rearrange pricing/sessions/organization and she stood by me. And of course she remained my friend.
To this day I would trade everything to have Kim back, but, having her leave might have been the biggest push my career ever had. Because we had just bought our first house in the summer of 2011 I was terrified Fresh Art would fall apart and we’d lose everything when Kim decided to step back. I spent the end of the fall in 2011 and the winter of 2012 reeling from Kim leaving but by late winter of 2012 I was starting to get my feet back. I brought on an assistant to help me get more organized, I continued to work on my new workflow and finalize what I wanted for Fresh Art in the coming months and years. In April of 2012 I left my part-time job at Kuhn Construction (my parent’s business) to pursue Fresh Art full time (I had worked for them the entire time I ran my photography businesses). It was another BIG SCARY move for me because we had to take a massive pay cut from C’s checks to cover me and the kids on his health insurance since I lost mine when I quit KCCI. So not only was I losing a paycheck but Chris was losing almost $1000/month. It put a LOT of financial pressure on me to make Fresh Art succeed!
That same spring in 2012 I brought on my friend Tricia to do my finances. She became a business consultant, bookkeeper, accountant and most importantly, a better friend. We met for HOURS as she navigated the extremely unorganized finances of Fresh Art. It was brutal but so so important. That summer I got a new assistant and got busy. Then fall hit and WHAM I was crazy. That assistant had to move on and after the insane fall season Amy Beachy joined the crew and truly rounded out my team. In early 2013 Tricia and I met again to go over the past years financials so we could, for the first time, make a balanced budget for the business and us personally (since they are so intertwined). We set financial goals and even bigger spending limitations so I could see those goals realized. Amy worked endlessly organizing some of the behind-the-scenes systems that were desperate for an overhaul. She started keeping track of our numbers… not in a financial way but in a statistics way (like how many inquiries do we get vs. how many book). Honestly, after this year I feel like i can never live without either Tricia or Amy!
I have been in business for almost six years and it wasn’t until Kim stepped back, Tricia came on and then Amy that I really felt like a business owner. For so long I just felt like a mom with a camera posing as a business owner. I still struggle with that feeling. Because I can do so much of my work with no bra on watching a favorite show at my desk in my home-office. Because interacting and photographing my clients is fun so it doesn’t even feel like work most days. Because I have the most flexible schedule ever. Because I don’t even shoot with a full frame camera yet. Because I don’t have all the best lenses or equipment or props. Because I AM a mom with a camera.
The end-all-be-all for me, for as long as I can remember, was the studio. I thought that if I had a studio it would mean that I had finally MADE it. Like there is some kind of list of qualifications a successful photographer has to have before they are legit. And man, for me, a studio was top of the list. Kim and I dreamed about our future studio endlessly and when Kim left I continued to dream about it.
But I couldn’t even afford a full-frame camera so how in the world could I afford a studio? A few months ago I actually called about a space for rent that looked appealing and when the woman on the phone said it was $2400/month my jaw dropped. That’s double our mortgage and so incredibly far out of reach I felt my dream slip further and further away. A far-fetched dream was what it had become.
Then, one day, my friend Laurie Nowling texted me a link to Katy Corea’s Facebook page and said I should check out her studio… Laurie said she thought it was pretty close to me. I took one look at the space and emailed Katy begging her to let me come see it. It was perfect, the rent seemed do-able and after lots of prayer/discussions/number crunching I went for it. It’s about a month later and I have the keys in my possession!
I wanted to write all of this out NOT to tell you that “WOOHOO I FINALLY MADE IT” but instead to tell all of the struggling photographers or newer photographers out there that I feel no different. Having this studio dream come true hasn’t changed how many sessions I am booking or how organized I am or how late I stay up working or anything. It’s changed my budget in a BIG way (so scary) and I hope that it’s going to add to my bookings but it hit me today that, for me at least, there is never going to be a “WOW YOU MADE IT” moment. There is always going to be another dream down the road I’m running towards. Which is how it should be I think. I’m a dreamer. And I want a lot for myself and my small business. I have huge financial goals. I have crazy post-it TO DO lists that are never ending. I have ideas pop into my head way faster than I can act on them. I want a LOT. A lot. Big dreams. And that’s good. But it means that this small little Webster Groves studio isn’t the end-all-be-all I once thought it was. It means it’s just another stepping stone on my photography journey. No different than the first time I used studio lighting or realized I needed to STOP using selective color! HA! Ok, maybe it’s a bigger step than not using selective color anymore, but it’s still just a step. I think that if I ever have a “WOW I MADE IT” moment I’m going to kick myself in the butt to keep moving forward or quit. I want to always have the desire to grow and change and adapt and learn.
What I’m trying to say to other photographers out there that might be in a different stage of their business is to just keep taking those small steps. Small steps add up quickly!
For the last six years I have worked incredibly hard. I’ve worked an insane amount of hours. I’ve made a TON of mistakes. I’ve made some good choices too. I’ve grown. And Fresh Art has grown.
SO I have keys to a studio I saw once and fell in love with. It’s small and perfect. I have ideas for new sessions to bring extra business in to hopefully pay for it all too! But at the end of the day I am still a mom with a camera. Who is crazy excited to take her kids and husband out for ice cream tonight to see her new studio!