With my camera in hand, I have been invited into some intimate spaces. A hospital room, a home or an operating room for a birth, next to a NICU bed with parents ready to go home with their healed baby or parents saying goodbye to their child. And a few times I’ve been invited into a hospice space.
Hospice is different because it’s not a baby a family is saying goodbye to, it’s an adult with a much longer story. I would never EVER compare grief or suffering, that is unique for each individual and a parent grappling with a stillbirth isn’t better or worse or easier or harder than an adult child saying goodbye to their parent. Hospice is different, for me, because everyone there knows what’s happening, including the person dying. THAT is the difference. Babies don’t know what’s happening to them but when an adult has fought cancer and their doctor puts them on hospice because there is nothing else they can do? That person is very aware of what’s happening. And because they are aware, it’s not a room filled with shock – which is how I find so many families dealing with the death of a child. There is a peace in a hospice space that is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
When my friend Erin invited me into her parent’s home to capture her mom on day 2 of in-home hospice I knew I was walking into a sacred space. A private space. I am always incredibly honored when a family chooses me to capture moments in their life like this. And trust me, while I’ve been there while countless babies took their last breath and captured so many families walking through tragedy, it’s not easy. I laugh with them and cry with them and sometimes my tears stream harder and faster behind my lens then those of the family. This work is never easy but it is my calling.
And I don’t share images like this online – ever really. I don’t talk about it often either. But Erin’s mom Debi wanted me to share these. And so as she took her last breath this morning I thought today was the perfect day to share her photos. Here is what Erin said when I told her I uncertain about sharing these images – “You have my mother’s permission. You have my permission. My mom said if people can see your beautiful photos it might show everyone that cancer can’t take away the unshakeable love a mother has for her family. She also said that they show that she is dying the same way she lived; surrounded with love & a bit of vanity. Lol!”
So this is for Debi. To show that dying can be beautiful. That cancer doesn’t take away everything. That a little vanity is never a bad thing and being surrounded by love is all that matters in the end. Erin, I love you friend.
This is why Debi mentioned vanity – we’d been shooting about an hour when she suddenly realized her wig wasn’t on – so we started over!
This past Sunday we sang How Great Thou Art in church and I cried while praying for Debi so I’m going to end this with the lyrics to that song.
When I in awesome wonder
Consider all
The works Thy Hand hath made,
I see the stars,
I hear the mighty thunder,
Thy pow’r throughout
The universe displayed,
And forest glades I wander
I hear the birds
Sing sweetly in the trees,
When I look down
From lofty mountain grandeur
And hear the brook
And feel the gentle breeze,
My Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art!
Then sings my soul,
My Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art!
With shouts of acclamation,
And take me home,
What joy shall fill my heart!
Then I shall bow
In humble adoration
And there proclaim,
“My God, how great Thou art!”
My Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art!
Then sings my soul,
My Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art!
Breathtakingly beautiful.
Such beautiful pictures. Thank you for sharing them. What a treasure they are for the family.
Beautiful. Stunning. Speechless.
Absolutely beautiful! These photos are such a gift.
Remembering this time a year ago with my dear friend taking her last breath as well… Crying over here. You captured this moment in time beautifully. Thank you for sharing your words and photos.
You are truly living an intentional life full of purpose. God has given you a special gift. You captured life beautifully.
Beautiful photos, beautiful family. Prayers for comfort for all of her family. Rest In Peace, dear Debi.❤️❤️
Breathtaking Jodie! You have an amazing gift!
Such art. Treasures for the family
Jodie, Those are beautiful. The images, the words, the family, the love. All of it.
How Great Thou Art was sung on the Sunday at church after my grandmother died, and again the Sunday after my father in law died. So finding at the end of this post brought new tears to my eyes.
So touching.
Oh wow. I am bawling. These are beautiful. This family is beautiful. They wish cherish your photos forever.
Jodie – With your talent, you have captured love, anguish, bravery, fear, strength, faith, and courage..
Cancer surely did not take away Debi’s spirit as evidenced in these photos. Thank you for sharing your talent and these beautiful pictures.
Those pictures of Debi and family are beautiful. Marian Calhoun’s comment above sums everything. Thanks to you, and the Calhoun family for sharing such private moments. Debi’s light will shine always.
Absolutely powerful. Definitely captured the true love that they all share.
These are stunning photos. What love and emotion you have captured. So special. What a gift.
So beautiful. I’m crying for all. Much peace Erin and family!
Love the photos, love your thoughts on this incredible gift of life and its eventual end, whenever and however that happens. Uplifted by your insight that cancer doesn’t take away everything, when for some it can take away so much–but not everything. Thank you for sharing.
What a wonderful memory. I’m sad for you and your family Erin, but you, as always, you inspire me. Love to all.