Growing up I always said I wanted to be an artist. Then in high school I had a few traumatic “art events”, tales for another post, and I decided art wasn’t for me but archeology was. Until I met a college professor who said if I ever wanted kids I couldn’t be in that field, that men were better suited (I kid you not, ask my mom!). And my dream was truly to just be a mom so I gave up on archeology. But I still loved history and I had to declare a major so I thought maybe anthropology was my field. But what the heck kind of job can you get with that major? So I literally took every random class I could get my hands on for three and a half years before calling it quits. Because really, all I wanted to do was get married, have kids and stay at home to raise them. I never knew what I wanted to do so I thought that meant God wanted me to “just” be a mom.
And I did get married. And had kids. Three of them right in a row actually. And I was basically a SAHM. But of course we couldn’t afford two or three kids on a teaching salary so I had to make money. And during that time is when I found I loved my camera. And so Jodified was born, and then Fresh Art. And I finally have a job! A career. And one that I am incredibly passionate about!
And so it’s great right? That I have a job that fulfills my passions? That I absolutely hands-down love what I do? And I fulfilled my oldest dream of being married and raising a family? I have it all right? It’s great, right?
It is. Great.
Except.
Sometimes I don’t understand why God finally showed me my passion during a time in my life that I have three small children home with me. Because here’s the thing. I’m passionate about being a mom AND a photographer.
I love everything about being a mom. Reading books over and over. Art projects. Getting messy. Playing outside. Building forts. Teaching. Games. Cuddles. And there is even a part of me, deep down, that loves the cleaning/housework/laundry/cooking. Jammie days and running errands. Play dates. All of it.
I would be a really good stay-at-home mom.
So here is my issue.
I’ve found my other passion. And now I don’t want to just be a mom. I want to work and create and dream and succeed.
My head is full of ideas. All day. Every day. All I think about is our business, our industry, my passion. And all I ever want to do is work. Be that shooting or editing or blogging or designing or emailing or tweeting or whatever.
Today was a Mommy day. We were home most of the day, besides some quick errands and preschool for the girls. I did load upon load of laundry, we painted, I read, they ran outside, I cleaned (not that you can tell right now), they skipped naps… and there is where my day fell apart.
They didn’t nap. And I wanted to work. But no one slept. So I had no work time. And I was pissed off. Not because they were grouchy or acting out because of no sleep. But because I didn’t get what I wanted.
I am always in this constant battle in my head. Trying desperately to be present with the kids but always wanting to work. If I could send the kids away every single day I would feel guilty but I would also love it.
It makes me so sad b/c I feel I was designed to be a mom. I’m good at it. I know I am. But most days I just don’t want to be a mom. I want to be a successful photographer. And I know it’s because up until recently I was never good at anything. I was never known as anything. I had never stuck with anything or loved anything this much. And now I’ve finally found it. I’m not floundering, wondering WHAT I WILL BE WHEN I GROW UP. I’m here, I’m grown up and I have my dream job. But my kids get in the way.
Isn’t that awful? But I feel that way. A lot. And I can’t figure out how to shut off my work brain and just BE with them. I don’t know how to stop checking email or writing down the ideas that fly through my head or turn off Twitter. Why would God give me my life’s dream in two ways and make me chose every single day which one I will pay attention to b/c it is just impossible to do both at the same time? I can’t be a good mommy and a good photographer. I have to pick. And this is a minute by minute decision in my head.
But why do I always want to chose photographer? Why do I want to work more than I want to mother? What does that say to my kids? Do they notice? What does it say about me?
Today was a long day. With no relief because Chris won’t be home until after 9pm and he left before 7am. So I know that’s aiding in these thoughts. But I just wonder, do any of you love your job so much you’d chose it over your kids? Does anyone else struggle with these feelings and thoughts daily? This is the reason I stayed up until 3am making a paper banner for Parker’s birthday party. Guilt.
I hate struggling. And if we could afford it I would quit Fresh Art for a few more years until the kids are in school. Because I know I’d be a great SAHM. But I have to work. And make money working. And to make money we have to grow our business. And to grow this business we have to figure out new ways to market. So my brain is working ALL THE TIME. And there’s not much room for kid craft ideas or imaginary play anymore. And I feel awful. But I also know that if we could afford for me to quit, and I did, it would be like a part of me died and I would never be the same.
I have to work. I have to live this passion. But how in the hell do I balance it better? How do I turn off my head while I’m home with my kids?
UGH!
Thanks for the vent. I had to get this out of my head b/c my brain has been consumed with these thoughts all day and if I didn’t write it down I wouldn’t sleep. And then poor Kim would have an even more tired partner for tomorrow’s session!
Thanks for listening. I love this blog.
Jodie, I could have written every single word of this post. Thank you for putting a voice to many photographer’s thoughts. You’ll get through this. It’ll be hard. But so, so worth it. 🙂
I don’t think you are alone at all! I constantly feel guilty … I feel like I work too much and should spend more time with my kids, yet when I leave work to be with them I feel guilty that I left something undone at work and maybe I should have stayed to finish it. It is a constant battle.
I work away from the home … on most nights between supper, dishes and baths I am lucky if I get a good quality hour with them. The balance between work and family is something I think all parents struggle with.
Oh Jodie, we all feel this way. I *hate* that I rush to the computer if the kiddo is momentarily distracted with his blocks, or eating breakfast, or watching Nemo. “Ok honey, just five more minutes.” It’s always an effort to force myself to be 100% present with him. I wonder if it’s got a lot to do with your work being in your home. I often think that if I could put ds in daycare two days a week and give those whole two days 100% of my working mind, then the other 3 days of the week I could be the best mom for him. But because my work mind and my mom mind always inhabit the same time space and physical space, I never shut off the work brain.
Wow. You wrote my thoughts…my constant struggle is the same. I LOVE being a Mom, but most of the time I’d rather be working/shooting/editing/creating. And my motive isn’t necessarily the money but the chance to CREATE something. I love my kids, of course, but they get in my way…I can’t do what I want to do because of them. And I end up hurting them (screaming, ignoring, being a half-ass mom). Bottom line is that I’m selfish.
But then maybe it’s because working is easier in so many ways. My camera doesn’t talk back to me. My computer doesn’t whine constantly. I get to see instant fruits of my labor with photography, but the fruits of my labor with my kids…well, time will tell. Right now I don’t always see it. Discipline, consistency, training, cooking, cleaning, encouraging, correcting…it all takes so much darn energy and purposefulness. It’s just down right harder to be a Mom than a photographer. Yet my first calling/responsibility is to my kids.
I guess I just have to daily (sometimes more often) CHOOSE that which is eternal…my kids’ little souls are eternal. Photos are not. They will make a bigger difference in the world than my photography ever will. All truths we as mothers know. Being a Mom is the hardest thing I’ve EVER done…hands down. And it’s because I have to die to myself – my desires – every day. Practically, I just have to set boundaries – when I will work and when I will not and how many sessions max per month I will take – and I’m finding right now in life (young kids at home) it’s just better to take fewer sessions for the sake of my kids and TRUST the LORD to build my business in the timing that is best for my family.
I totally get it, Jodie. Praying for you – and me – to somehow find the balance with our passion for photography right now in our lives so that we don’t look back with regret when our kids are gone! Someday I will miss being a Mom to little ones!
My theme for my life in 2010 is balance. I haven’t found it yet 😉 but I am working on it. The fact is that it is easier to photograph than to mother. I can turn on the computer, edit, and get lost in a world that is all my own…I don’t have to get up. I don’t have to clean up. I don’t have to do anything but be creative.
I think it is normal to prefer what is easy…but in the long run we do love the harder things more. Does that make sense? I love the feeling after I’ve worked out really hard but the thought of it is daunting. I love how I feel after I’ve deep cleaned the whole house but oh my goodness…it’s so overwhelming. I LOVE and ADORE my children but the thought of my hubby being gone all day with no naps is hard to take sometimes. I almost always can enjoy the day and have a good time with the kids, but a day at work is sometimes MUCH easier.
I am making some changes (partly due to Davina Fear’s kit: http://davina.squarespace.com/for-photographers/2009/11/30/gylb-get-your-life-back-kit.html) and they are slow, but I think with LOTS of prayer, journaling, being obedient to the rules I set up, and a miracle or two…I may actually be more balanced by 2011.
Oh, you’re not alone. I feel bad about it too. Things are more balanced for me now than they’ve ever been, but it is still hard to stop checking email.
Maybe it is like kid-spacing. If you have your kids spaced out, there are benefits to that. If you have your kids all close together, there are benefits to that too. You and I, we had ALL our babies really close together. Our children and our businesses all came one on top of the other. I like having my kids close together. It is really hard, but there are huge benefits. I can nurture this business like it is a part of my family — it IS a big part of our family. It’s the reason we’re still in our house, the reason we didn’t have to go without health insurance, the reason we can do anything fun and buy groceries that aren’t disgusting. I know your business means the same kinds of things to your family. It is okay to nurture that.
It’s a tough issue. It really is. But you do a great job with it.
I’m so with you, Jodie. I feel the EXACT same way. It’s like, why now? Why have I found my passion now, when I have young kids (2.5 and 5)? Why couldn’t I be single, or at least married with no kids? And my answer ends up being because I didn’t have the perspective and the love for life and capturing fleeting moments before I had kids. It sucks, but it gives us the eye we now have. All I can say is give it a few more years. It WILL get easier.
And you shouldn’t feel guilty for sending the kids away so you can do what you love. My kids aren’t home all day with me, and I’m a better photographer AND mother for it. I miss them during the day (making me love on them more), they’ve had fun with friends/family and I’ve had good quality time working on photography stuff so I don’t feel the need to take away time from the kids to get work done. It’s been my only saving grace, really…
I totally understand what you are saying… I love my job, it makes me a better Mom. But I do feel pulled in several directions on any given day. And the truth is I wish I was in school right now like all the other women I work with but I can’t figure out how that will look in my life with 2 kiddos.
I’m wondering if you would feel different about being pulled in too many directions at once if you gave yourself 1-2 days off a week from doing it all? Would 1 or 2 days with kids at preschool/day care/ MDO give you a chance to really focus your thoughts on your business and in turn give you the energy and focus you need to be in tune with your kids on the days you have them at home?
Just a thought, no matter what know that I totally know what you are talking about and I love that you put it out there in the universe.
i am a few steps behind you…but, i just wanted to tell you that you are definitely not alone. thank you for your honestly.
You are definitely not alone! I am just starting my photography business AND working another full time job (that already consumes more than 40 hours a week with travel)…..plus my two dear children. My 3 year old told me last week that “Daddy plays golf and plays with us….Mommy, you work”….oy.
I keep telling myself I’ll figure it out, but something tells me it just gets worse! I’m praying for you and every other woman that is trying to figure out that delicate balance.
Thanks for sharing…now I don’t feel alone 🙂
I love this post because I struggle with it everyday. DAILY i can’t wait for nap time to work and create and do something for my tiny business to make it grow. I constantly feel guilty because I feel I neglect my hubby because I’m glued to editing, creating my new website (soon to come),etc, etc, etc…but a few things. I like Kristin’s idea about literally being OFF 2-3 times a week. ALSO you mentioned that you found it worked when you would take 2-3 minutes or watvr to play, chase kids, etc inbetween cleaning,etc. I found that that worked too so keep that up! AND lastly…being a good mom means taking care of your child’s needs..so with balance that means providing a comfortable, safe, loving environment for them. You contribute to that by working. SO you’re doing your job. O..O and I’ve been wanting to say for FOREVER that – the more creative you are-i see you passing that on to your children (something i NEVER was taught) not only will they, but others will also see, that amazing talent in them. They’re going to own it. I think part of motherhood, brings a constant guilt. MANY moms in my life feel the same way…so chin up. Take it one day at a time! =)
You are not alone. I feel the same way all the time. I work FT outside the house and between being mommy, wife, employee/boss/coworker and just ME, I never feel that I’m giving ANYTHING my all. If I scrapbook (my hobby), then I don’t spend time with the boys. If I choose to spend time with the kids, then I don’t get “my” time. If I work late, I don’t spend time with the kids and the hubby. I regularly feel guilty. I have no answer but I hope you know, you aren’t alone.
good to know I’m not alone in this — I am SO there with you. Which is why I just made the very difficult decision to take a LONG break from the photography business. No matter what the decision, it’s hard.
I think so many people feel this way. I work FT and my kids go to daycare 3 days a week. They are watched by family the other 2 days. I like my job okay, but not passionate about it. I think you are really blessed that what pulls you away from your kids is something that you love so much. AND it’s so important to be involved in something that is so fulfilling to you. You deserve that for yourself, and your children benefit from having a mother who is so passionate about life. It’s such a difficult balance, but from what I know about you from being a loyal reader ;), you are doing an AMAZING job. Keep it up!
Jodie I’m sitting here at work on the verge of tears. I feel just like you.
I went through college and graduated but was never sure what I wanted to do, what I wanted to be when I grow up. When graduation came I was such a mess b/c I felt I wasn’t ready to be dropped into the real world. Finally at age 26 I knew that being a photographer was what I wanted to do.
I work FT outside the house and when I get home I don’t want to do anything but go edit/blog/etc because I feel like I have wasted my productive day away from being at my FT job. When I get home, instead I make myself be involved with the family for 3 hours before it’s bedtime for my DD and then I head to work. Most of the time I can’t wait for her to go to bed… I’m tweeting/reading blogs/etc on my phone even though I’m with her. Definitely not focused at that moment. I love our free hours on the weekends that we do crafts but that doesn’t come as often as I would like.
I feel bad. Like you I want to be there (I so badly want to be a SAHM it’s crazy. What makes it worse? My DH is laid off and gets to be home with her everyday.) but I’m cloudy with all these other thoughts and lists running through my head all the time.
Jodi, you are SO not alone. As a voice from another generation, I can tell you that the struggle between honoring your own gifts and passion and being a wonderfully focused mother has been around for a LONG time. (I remember my youngest, sick with a high temp, lying on the couch feeling miserable and saying “You’re going to the hospital to take care of the OTHER sick children?” Insert knife in heart now!)
What you’re saying to your children by respecting and living your passion is that it’s OK to be a WHOLE person;the people we love dearly are one part of that, a HUUGE part, but they’re NOT the sum total; you’re telling your girls especially that it’s a huge, wonderful world and they will have MANY opportunities and the choices about how to balance all of it is a struggle that helps define who they are; you’re telling them that you love them enough to want to help provide for a secure future; you’re also helping them see that living with intention is not easy but it IS necessary for personal integrity.
ALL moms are distracted and unable to completely focus on their kids – some from stress and terrible circumstances, you from being torn between multiple things you love and are excellent at. NO child needs a parent totally focused exclusively on them – that would be crazy making! They’d be dying for their own space in a heartbeat!
Your kids are blessed to have you and Chris as parents; you all are surrounded by a network of people who love you and can pitch in to help out when those passions collide and compete!
Don’t spend too much time worrying about how things will work out; you can’t predict it,things will happen you can’t control… use the time instead to write down all those wonderful ideas because we all can’t wait to see them brought into reality, adding a dimension to this world that only YOU can give!
You are not alone Jodie. For most anyone that has to balance things it is all about living in the moment…when it is time for the kids focus on the kids and when it is time for you to work you work. Now I know how it goes that you seem to come up with a business idea while you’re playing legos, etc. Take down a note and then get back into it with the kids but I also think just like your idea to unplug it also seems that we need to unplug a bit to get back to the basics. Maybe it would work better for you if you had set ‘office’ hours (also struggle with this and my ‘office’ hours seem to be from 10pm – 2am not healthy). Good luck working it and remember even if you did put the business on hold for 2 years there is never a perfect time only God’s timing.
as i was reading through my google reader I found this post: http://momitforward.com/balancing-life-101-part-2
Oh Jodie. I have never commented here before, but this struck such a chord with me. You are definitely not alone. As I am trying to type this comment, my 2 year old is trying to climb in my lap and my thoughts are consumed with the floors that need to be vacuumed, the groceries that need to be bought, the laundry that needs to be done, and the nasty bathrooms that need to be cleaned. Every day there is a battle going on in my mind – do I edit or fold laundry? Do I work on marketing or clean the aforementioned nasty bathrooms? This is all of course when my 2 year old is napping because heaven forbid I actually try to get something done while she is awake. But, guess what always wins the battle? WORK. Who wants to mop pee off a bathroom floor when you could edit pictures of a delicious newborn? Who wants to spend time folding underwear when you could be dreaming about fantastic new ideas for the business? Not me. But what that means is that at the end of the day, I feel like I’ve failed in some way. I want to be a wife, mom AND photographer – in that order. But the truth is that those roles get shuffled around on a daily (hourly? minutely?) basis. Sometimes I’m a good mom spending time with the kids and truly giving them 100% of my attention. More often than not, they get half of me because of the other half of me is trying to keep all the other balls in my life up in the air. And I marvel at the other photographers who are wives and moms and are managing to run a successful business – you are one of those. So even though you feel like you are pulled in a million different directions right now, know that you are doing the best you can. And it won’t last forever. One day – one glorious day, all those little ones will be off to school and you will be able to indulge that creative side of you AND maybe get some laundry done too. Thanks for sharing your heart with us all. I know that it helps me knowing that I’m not alone in the way I feel every day. Thanks.
I guess it is comforting knowing there are so many of us out here going through this, even if no one really has a solution. It is a struggle every single day. With a 5 year old and an 18 month old at home and one on the way, my photography business certainly has to take a back seat much of the time. And we are planning on home schooling, so mine won’t be off to school in a few years to relieve me. How in the world will I balance that?!
I know I will regret not spending enough time with my kids and doing things with them when they “were little”. I remind our 5 year old that many other kids have to go off to day care 8 or 9 hours a day while their mommy goes off to work. At least we are home together, even if I am not totally focused on them. It is such a difficult balance, and I’m not sure any of us really do balance it well. I thank God for giving me the energy to do it all (and being pregnant) and the grace to feel ok about myself at the end of the day.
SO timely of a post! This morning I had an event to go to for my old job. Just being surrounded by old colleagues and a few “big-wigs” in the environmental education field for a little while made me so ready to get back to work. I had Avery, my three week old, with me but it still felt like I was back to being myself again; an educator, working for a cause, passionate about what I do. It felt REALLY good. Many people asked me if I was looking for a job yet, when would they see my resume in their inbox, had I figured out daycare, OR was I going to be staying home. The answer for me to that last part is an easy one…I am not cut out to be a full time SAHM. I need to be working in my field and even though I will forever have mommy guilt about going back to work I know it is what is right for me. I don’t know why we put the guilt on ourselves or where it comes from because I KNOW that if I gave up what I loved to stay at home I would not be the same person. I would not be the strong, confident, and passionate role model that I want to be for my daughters. It has been said a million times but I will say it again…by doing what is best for me, taking care of myself, I am doing what is best for my children.
Jodie you are an amazing mom and have three incredible children. The time you are working your children are well cared for. Just think of the bond that they are going to have with their grandparents! God gave you an amazing talent and the challenge of three young children, but he also gave you an incredible support system, the strength to get through any challenge and the intelligence/humility to know when to ask for help. You mentioned in your post that you “can’t be a good mommy and a good photographer” but I have to disagree and I think that your family and clients would agree with me when I say that you are truly a good mother AND a good photographer already. It might be a struggle but you fight the battle and somehow get through it everyday with amazing results. Your pictures are incredible, your business IS growing and your children are THRIVING (not just surviving). Be proud of yourself at how far you have come from the days of trying to find your passion and be excited for the easier days ahead.
It’s not just you. Actually, I don’t know a Mom who doesn’t have some kind of struggle with who they are, who they want to be. I didn’t find my passion in my work. At least not the job I left when I had my son. I look forward to finding a job and career I can be passionate about. Right now my son is my full time job, but I find myself filling time not only with him but either “things” that fill the gap for “me time” or trying to find what that passion is.
It’s awesome you found your passion. And you are a good mom. Maybe this struggle helps make us even better.
Oh Jodie you are so not alone!! I too often wonder why God open this door for me right as I have 2 small children….I struggle with the balance of raising kids and my photography everyday and I am so frustrated that I haven’t found “that balance” and sadly my photography has taken a huge step back because I always seemed stretched too thin….
I’d just like to “ditto” everything Abbie said…and Donna…and everyone else. As much as you may feel torn-in-two, you’re actually an inspiration to so many of us! Our mommy role model. You cover and get more done in a day than any other mom+business owner I know. Seriously. Not b/c you sometimes stay up until 3 am to get it all done, but b/c you have mastered the “shift and focus” move. I’ve seen you go from an art project that is the most creative, kid-loving project ever to an important client phone call with full composure. We’ve talked about great promotional ideas and FA must-dos one minute, only to resolve a weird kid-thing the next. I called last week FREAKING OUT b/c my home environment had orbited out of my control, only to have you focus on me, your friend, for a hour to talk me off the ledge. So, GO, you!
Thanks for the post. I have been debating this even WITHOUT kids yet. I am a full time band/orchestra middle school teacher who is constantly balancing that job with photography which is blossiming. On top of that, I am spending a LOT (too much!) time worrying about what happens once I have kids. I would ideally like to stay home and be a photogapher and transition out of work, but it’s really a conflict for me. I pray a lot, knowing God has my back!
I wanted to thank you though, for honesty. It’s really appreciated and I love checking in on your blog! Peace to you!
Jodie,
Of course you are not alone! Most women your age are in exactly the same spot, but some don’t have the option of tending to both of their passions at the same time. I work with people who excel at both motherhood and teaching, but they are not able to have bits of both at the same time. Their days are more compartmentalized than yours, due to the fact that they have to be away from their kids from 7:00 until 4:00. They go home, do endless Mommy stuff, and then put their teacher hats back on after prayers and bedtimes.
Maybe God is teaching you that it’s not about you right now. And dang, don’t you hate that? I do! However, that doesn’t mean that you can’t dream big, outline the future of your business on flowcharts, and capture your big ideas in artfully designed binders so they don’t pass you by, but take this time to put your family first. You will never regret it.
Schedule your business– your shoots, your editing sessions, your research and your design work. Schedule time to think big. Stick to it. Knowing that the time is there will allow you to enjoy your family time more fully. The older your kids get, the easier it will be to balance your Mommy Time and your Work Time. Wait, let me rephrase that. It will never be easy–never, never, never, but their schedules will be more reliable and that will help.
Hang in there. I swear–they will be studying for their ACTs before you know it. Enjoy each day in some little way in both hemispheres of your life!
Linda
Oh Jodie, I could have written this. You are NOT alone. I don’t have any advice to offer because I know you have a good head on your shoulders and are doing the very best job possible juggling all your many roles and trying to meet everyone’s needs (including your own). I think this is the perpetual struggle of mommy photogs with thriving businesses. I talk to my fellow mommy pro photogs about this ALL THE TIME. There are no easy answers. I guess we just keep plugging along as best we can. I have come to view my life as pieces of a pie that get “redistributed” every single day depending on the needs of THAT particular day. Some days more of the pie goes to my kids and some days more of the pie goes to my business and so on… In the end it all balances out somehow.
*Hugs*
Pascale
Wow, this is very timely….after 2 years of being a working mother in the corporate world, I am leaving it to be a SAHM – concentrate on my kiddo and my photography.
here’s my post about it:
http://davispartyof3.blogspot.com/2010/01/hanging-it-up.html
Wow, I feel like we are living parallel lives, only mine is minus one kid plus one FT job.
I struggle with eating, drinking, thinking, breathing photography all day long too, and it’s especially hard to stay focused when I’m at work. I do it when I’m with my kids too, like sometimes rushing them through an activity so I can get to a point where I can sneak away and edit a little, or answer an email, or even just look at photo forums. I never truly knew what “passion” was until I discovered photography. It’s a sickness, I tell ya! 🙂
The only advice I can offer is to ask for help, accept help when it’s offered, and keep to a schedule or regular routine as much as possible. Simplify what needs simplifying, and delegate anything you can! Oh, and skip things like making the bed or cleaning the bathrooms every week.
And know this: you are teaching your children to work hard to make their own dreams come true one day!
By the way, one of the best things that has helped me lately was to designate a specific day for certain tasks. Like Tuesdays are: grocery store, laundry, pay bills, do business bookkeeping. It helps me to know what my regular to-do list is for the day, and I can plan activities for my girls around it. And I don’t feel pressured to edit, upload, package orders, run to the post office, etc, because I do those on other days.
Anyway, hope that helps even a little. Hang in there…you are doing great things!
Gosh! If you figure that out, be sure to pass it along to ME. I decided (last year) with the popping out of the third kid that I was just going to do enough work to make sure my family makes it. For so long I thought I had to work hard to have a really nice house and drive a really nice car and have my kids have the best and most I could give. Then I decided that enough was enough. We could have a really comfortable house and a car to seat us all and that ME being around and not frustrated and tired (I always worked night shift) was really all they needed. I TOTALLY understand the two pulls on your life right now (and you are a BANGING photog) but relax and enjoy your ride and you will figure out GOD’s plan.
I had a friend of mine (who also happens to be a therapist) tell me to try and let go of the mommy guilt – HA! If she could just tell me how to do that it would be great!
I started my PT photography business so I could have some balance in my life, but I find that I love photography so much I could spend 24 hours a day working on it. I have been trying to force time outs from the computer/FB/twitter, and it helps me to be “in the moment” with my kids.
Think about it – most men work full time at their jobs and are fathers when they are home, and no one bats an eye. Moms are expected to do both full board – it’s just not possible. But we are all doing the best we can, and at some point we need to come to peace with that.
Hang in there Jodie – I’ll be praying for Parker and your family.
I’m there. Would you let me know when you figure it out? Because 6 kids, 3 years, and such little sleep have fried my brain so that I can no longer think of any ideas on how to fix it. I love my kids, I love my job. They just don’t co-exist very well! Thanks for being honest.
Jodie, I also have never commented here…but lurked and admired you and Kim from my screen…BUT, I have been thinking about your post for a few days…and the honesty you laid out for all of us to see. You are NOT alone. I work full time as a detective working juvenile cases, primarily sex crimes and crimes against children on the Internet…in other words, child pornography. It is taxing to say the least. I then come home to two little girls that of course mean the world to me…but I am usually exhausted and can’t wait for them to go to bed so I can edit…so I can look at images of goodness and life…and know I captured life as it is supposed to be…I follow countless blogs searching for new Photoshop tutorials…searching for a “style”…searching for a few “friends” who have a passion for this craft…my head is often in photography la la land than with my babes…sorry for my ramble…you are not alone…we are here..or have been there:)
I vote for #21 of Ellie and Livie-too precious!!!!
#17 Michael
I vote for #21.
Thanks.
#21 – Ellie & Livie
This picture is simply adorable of Ellie and Livie! They are so precious.
I absolutely love photo #21. The girls are adorable, I just want to eat them up!
#21 is the best! I love Ellie and Livie!!!
#21 gets my vote! Ellie and Livie are adorable!